0:00

and um do I how do I pronounce your last name petroute

0:06

in English yes Romanian one is the truths okay I'm gonna do the English because I'm gonna

0:12

butcher that uh beautiful Romanian accent I'm gonna I'm gonna not not do a

0:17

good job so I'll do you and your um whole country a favor and I'll stick to

0:23

my boring English all right excellent okay Andrea welcome

0:29

to True hope class thank you so much for being with me today and um I'm very excited to learn more about you and what

0:36

it is that you do how are you what is going well hi Simon thank you so much for inviting

0:42

me I am very well thank you um what is going well oh

0:49

I I have the word abundance in my mind for me abundance is friendships is

0:54

opportunities is having peace at home as all the things that I am grateful for in

1:01

my life and I can enjoy it so that's where I am beautiful thank you for sharing that that's lovely just as an

1:09

introduction can you just let us know who you are and what it is that you do please yes thank you so I'm a co-empowerment uh

1:17

leadership coach and I'm working with women professionals who want to lead who

1:24

have a message to live in the world who want to leave a legacy and who want to be the change they want to see in the

1:30

world and I have them discover or actually ReDiscover or remember their

1:36

gifts why they are here what is the best path for them to take so that they can

1:42

leave that Mark they are looking for interesting so what led you into kind of

1:48

um wanting to help women you know become free and at peace and feel safer I

1:54

suppose in the world and within their life themselves and their own relationships like what what led you that to that path

1:59

my own journey and the most memorable moment when it started is in 1992 in

2:06

Romania because that's where I was born and in 1992 my mom died of cancer

2:13

stomach cancer and that was a moment where many things at once started

2:19

happening for me the realization that the body and well-being and our health

2:26

is very important then that we as parents we need to make sure we're gonna

2:33

live long enough for our children to enjoy to receive the Legacy to have all

2:41

that they can take from us all that we can give them our presence uh wisdom

2:47

lessons support whatever it is that we do as we are

2:52

and then as growing up I started having all these issues in the relationship

3:00

with myself with the higher power I believe in with my family with

3:05

everything you know I did not know that I had a trauma by not having my mom

3:13

since I was 11. I did not know the consequences of that nobody around me was aware so all these things together

3:21

created sort of an adventure for me to understand to discover and over time to

3:29

improve and I had to make choices not all the choices really helped me but I learned from them

3:35

and relationships started as a very important thing for me because I love

3:40

people and I always care about us about each other I care about the world I care

3:46

about us being free feeling safe being okay and having

3:51

the peace no matter what happens to move on and from relationships

3:58

because um after moving to Canada in 2017 the question was what do I do how will I

4:05

make money how will I provide take care of my family then the leadershiper became much more

4:13

important than before because now it was not just leading my way it was how to

4:18

lead to live an impact in the world so throughout my journey I thought who am I

4:24

what kind of person Am I who am I here and then I realize I'm not the only one who has gone to all these things some

4:31

other person in the world also has had similar complex issues so by

4:36

understanding me I understood that there's somebody else who was in my place or who could be in my place that I

4:43

can help so this this is how the leadership coaching started

4:49

beautiful um so coming from Europe into North America

4:55

um it just when you were talking about like you know what can we do now to you know to live longer to be able to

5:02

influence our our children and our children's children and you know passing on knowledge passing on experience

5:08

um do you see a difference in in like North America from like where where you grew

5:14

up in that because when I look at that now you know like as soon as we kind of like hit our 20s and we find a partner

5:20

like we're looking to like move out and separate ourselves from our parents and like you know we we put our you know

5:26

when our parents get to a certain age we put them into like old people's homes so like rather than having you know three

5:32

maybe even four generations of of um family members Under One Roof which would which not so long ago was a

5:39

complete cultural norm now we've divided this up and I don't think people think

5:46

about what they can do now for their health for their physical and mental well-being what they can do now to

5:53

benefit their like marginal decade for their like last 10 years of life where they're going to be able to like

5:59

you know influence their grandkids as best they can I don't think we as a culture in the west really think about

6:06

it like that I think we're more selfish I think that we are much more um we do a

6:11

lot more forecasting in like a short-term window like looking at maybe the next few months or next year or so in regards

6:19

to like health-wise rather than thinking about okay listen I'm nearly I this is just me as an example I'm nearly 40

6:25

years old and a couple years I'm going to be 40. and I'm starting I'm thinking now about like my last 10 years on Earth

6:31

and how I want that to look and how I want to physically be and mentally be and there's so much that I I can and

6:37

have to do now in my 40s to lay that foundation for those things that I want to do like you know I want to be able to

6:43

and still play golf when I'm 90. I still want to be able to like you know play on

6:48

the floor with my grandkids and get up by myself unassisted you know I don't want to be what I would consider a

6:55

burden on my family members if I don't look after myself now and just as like I

7:01

was kind of like talking before about we would have different Generations under the same

7:06

roof in your experience going from Romania and having a very different culture

7:11

there and then coming to North America how have you seen that like generational disconnect especially coming into Canada

7:20

that is a very good question and a deep one and I'm gonna touch upon the things

7:25

that make it simple in a way although it's it is a very complex thing when you think about Generations

7:32

in Romania before 1989 so during communism

7:38

as I remember we were very tied to each other my grandparents my maternal

7:45

grandparents were still alive they were in the same city we would visit offer we would help each other my parents always

7:52

got support in whatever they needed you know there was we cousins together we

7:58

would play there was a lot of community a lot of support now my family is smaller than other

8:05

families in other parts of Romania like in Northern Romania how my husband has

8:10

relatives there are dozens and hundreds in the same community and they gather together

8:17

for um anything in in life so community and

8:22

that glue that keeps people together as even more it's wider it's expand itself

8:29

in Romania it depended on the Family and the region the family was in but yes

8:37

it was something very beautiful and that connection is something we've been used to in our culture after 1989 and I would

8:46

say it's unfortunate that the West came in with ideas values beliefs and uh

8:54

lifestyle that was not suitable for us that was not ours and more and more

9:00

families started becoming individualistic I do I can't say I blame

9:05

but I do see the difference between the Romanian culture and part not all

9:12

that maybe a big part of the western culture with this isolation or individualization or you

9:19

know just keeping it all on my own things my own stuff and we can laugh about it but it became very serious and

9:27

um I think the next 20 years after 1989 in Romania I kept hearing

9:34

more and more in books and discussions among adults this idea of the family

9:40

Unity is destroyed or the family Unity starts to become separated you know to

9:48

to not be what it was in Romania and this has become a very serious issue

9:53

like you mentioned my understanding is we are missing Legacy we are missing wisdom we are missing something that

10:00

only our parents and grandparents can give us and one thing that always stood out for

10:08

me is hearing my father telling me since I was

10:14

a teenager that he wants to die at home he doesn't want to go in an asylum

10:23

um like his grandmother had to go

10:29

because no uh no nephew could have taken care of her for

10:35

six months and actually she scarred herself to death so when my father saw

10:40

that his grandmother died in um [Music]

10:46

well we called it an asylum but it's not Asylum and then um old people home

10:54

he decided that he wants to be healthy like you mentioned in the beginning just

11:01

live healthy be strong and die at home at peace my father is still alive and he

11:08

still has that fear and he is alone I'm not there nobody's

11:14

there with him so I completely understand um what is missing in our lives in our

11:22

societies and and the thickness between what has been in Romania and what is

11:27

what is now it's very very difficult for many people and look at us me and my

11:32

husband don't have anybody in Canada and when I meet what I mean by anybody I

11:37

mean our parents are not here his brother is not here I don't have any other relative here so

11:45

we are basically just with our children and one of his exes so you know but

11:51

that's that's different it's it's not the same thing like nobody is helping us it's just

11:58

me yeah it's a very interesting Dynamic here in it's well it's in it's in the in

12:03

the western world and it's been happening for you know a long period of time in regards to

12:08

that lack of like family value I suppose but as soon as you know as soon as we start

12:14

separating you know that that generation out like there's going to be such a lack of influence from them and you know I

12:19

think that we he we don't necessarily want to take advice from our from our

12:25

parents or people who are older than us because we you know in the moment we think we know better like you know I can

12:31

imagine myself you know when I was 13 when I was 20 there's no way I'd listen to like Simon who's 40 years old or 50

12:38

years old giving me giving myself advice you know it's very we're not really I don't know why it's very interesting

12:44

that we are unable to take advice from our close family members is a very interesting it's another whole weird

12:49

story about humans but yeah we have when we do have this lack of wisdom or lack of responsibility within

12:56

our societies yeah we we start to become like isolated and we think in

13:02

this kind of reductionist fashion and we don't think about like what life might

13:07

be for us in like in our 70s and 80s and the 90s especially when we're in our 30s 40s and 50s I mean you see you

13:14

especially as just biologically as females like everything kind of before 50 like you need to take like real good

13:20

care of yourself you know because like as soon as you get into that like post post-menopausal situation you have that

13:26

big estrogen drop there's so much you can do with your physical body to to strengthen to avoid a lot of the things

13:32

that you know that that 60 year old 70 year old women go through but even as men as well you know like I think it's

13:37

very important that right now 30s 40s 50s you can do so much to

13:43

support yourself and you're not just doing it for yourself you know you're actually setting an example for within your

13:48

family that it's very important to take care of your physical and your mental health for

13:54

you know for those those later days in your life and I don't think that that a

14:01

lot of people who let's just say in North America who probably don't exercise enough drink too

14:07

much and eat rubbish food I don't think that they really want to be doing that I think that they are

14:13

isolated I think they have a lack of responsibility I think they have a lack of drive a lack of motivation a lack of

14:18

goals in their life and the um like the addiction of the kind of

14:26

crappier foods or watching the shows constantly and not moving your body like that is that trap is just so it is like

14:34

psychologically biochemically rewarding to just like get those things but I don't believe that people want to be

14:40

alone I believe people want to be in these communities like you're talking about up in like uh in like Northern Romania you I think you

14:47

said Northern Romania anyway but like you know you've got these closer communities of um of groups of individuals you know

14:53

even just like 40 minutes away from where I live in in BC the communities are you know the outside

14:59

of the city they're like a thousand people rather than a hundred thousand people and you have to do things together you know like we're a

15:05

community-based organisms we need to be you know using um

15:11

festivals or holidays your music dance you know like we use these things they

15:16

are like so um ancient within us to do these types of

15:22

things to come together and share those stories around the campfire like I can't think of anything more ancient and human

15:27

than that and we just have a little bit Yeah like with the with the big cities and the apartment blocks where we can

15:33

separate each other by more walls we just lost a little bit bit of that but in my personal opinion I think we're

15:38

coming to an absolute absolute breaking point of where people can't handle the isolation anymore and they are looking

15:45

to you know get out of the cities or go out of their comfort zones to connect with more human beings especially after

15:51

like after the last two and a half years of you know mandates and lockdowns and

15:57

all these things that divide us even further like it's the last thing we kind of needed um but people are looking for that human

16:04

connectivity and I think we're at a breaking point where I don't think it's just going to get worse and then just be horrific I think people are going to

16:10

start going towards it and and it'll be a very unconscious thing because our body

16:15

craves it what do you think well you touched upon a lot of things

16:21

and my brain goes I would say thinking of

16:27

what do you do with your company and in your products just thinking of that you

16:33

know um and put it into perspective we have forgotten

16:39

what made us humans Thrive over Millennia right and one of the things is

16:47

stories one thing you mention is of stories we would sit around the fire and

16:53

listen to stories from older generations and those stories would educate us would

17:00

educate our minds our imagination we put something into our hearts our souls and

17:06

would Prime our brains for something for wisdom for something better you know my

17:12

father used to say Andrea learn from other people's mistakes listen to their stories because you will not repeat why

17:19

invent the wheel why hurt yourself when you can learn from somebody else's lessons

17:25

it's easier this way that's what the former Generations are bringing to us

17:31

and you know we live in Canada and I've just spoken to an indigenous from the

17:37

Ojibwe Nation Samantha kenoshonek and she was talking about you know Seven Generations before and after you know

17:44

that's that's why we have it there this the saying of you know listening to the

17:49

old people we have old stories there was always something that is to say no

17:54

matter uh what generation we are you know times change but the lessons stay

18:01

the same and in terms of our bodies we all have a mission we all have

18:08

something specific and unique we're bringing in the world well how are we going to fulfill that

18:15

if we don't care of this conjugate this mode of transportation and in this world

18:22

which is our body and how can we help our body if we don't understand what the

18:27

body is and the body is a community a community of cells of community of organisms a

18:34

community that works together it's not for the same goal but there is one goal

18:40

survival and homeostasis is another so if the body is doing that you know as

18:46

above so below so what is going on in our bodies is what is going on in our societies so how

18:53

do we take care of the societies how we take care of the body and it's you know it goes both ways

18:59

and the responsibility that we can take and that it's going to help us all is

19:05

we're looking first at the individual of who we are our bodies what is going on

19:10

inside what how are we having those Cravings there's always always something

19:16

mental and or emotional they can go together we were talking on a member of

19:22

the beginning of our conversation about a situation in my family where one of the family members was

19:29

saying but I eat healthy and I still don't feel well and the next thing was

19:34

well have you heard of the studies related to emotions and the heart you

19:40

know well if you eat something healthy when you are stressed

19:46

the stress is going to affect your stomach how come well the nerves there's

19:53

a nerve that goes down I think it's the polyvago one I guess yeah the Vegas okay

19:58

so as the polyvacal theory is the one I had in mind so the vagus nerve it

20:04

connects with uh the gut the bacteria and everything else you know like we we

20:10

have all this information so if we stressed the brain and everything is going to get the stress hormones

20:17

what you're gonna eat is healthy strawberries and a bit of stress well that doesn't

20:24

sound full of positivity and light to me and your body is going to take everything both the vitamins and the

20:31

emotions and the thoughts so what are you looking for in your life how do you want to live because the how

20:40

the goal should lead you to a lifestyle to a way

20:45

of living to taking care of your body with certain type of nutrition some of

20:52

it you can take from food some of it you need supplements for you know you need

20:57

therapies you need a lot of stuff uh maybe I don't know or maybe just a little so it's very important to be mindful of

21:07

the fact that whatever we take in mentally emotionally energetically

21:13

physically even the people we surround ourselves with that's why you Simon and

21:19

I talk about Community because Community is nurturing us it's nurturing

21:25

our minds it's nurturing our souls you know what kind of books are we reading because that is going to affect our

21:32

thinking our emotions and how we're gonna conduct ourselves in life

21:38

so everything is important and I think we cannot speak about well-being and

21:44

health and wellness without speaking of all the aspects of human life everything

21:50

is important and in the last two years I've seen so much

21:57

hurt in the world so much drama just because of isolation just one thing

22:02

isolate people and then you're gonna see um a hurricane at a societal level I

22:10

think this is what's been going on I have I heard Stephen Jenkins and who's a

22:16

Canadian author talking about the fact that we don't even know the impact

22:23

everything that has been happening in the last years is going to have upon the world we can't even measure it we can't

22:30

see it there are some effects that are visible like the suicidal rate increasing and homeless people being

22:37

more and more homeless people on the streets a lot of stuff domestic violence growing and other things happening

22:44

but it goes deeper and wider than that and it's still not visible what are we

22:50

going to do about it yeah I mean that that disconnect that we

22:56

have within our community goes all the way to the top of our governments right like even just when we're talking about

23:01

making the decision to lock down the whole country or you know wherever that might be

23:07

um and not taking into consideration I mean I I personally think that governments have a weird combination of

23:15

malevolence and also vicious incompetence um I think that the smartest people the

23:21

smartest people um on the planet don't go and work for the government in my opinion um so you know they go to the pub they

23:28

go to the private sector where they can make more money and then whoever just ends up going to the government puts their time in says yes and then carries

23:35

on again that's another topic but we have this disconnect right we have this disconnect within our governments that

23:40

don't really get that communal aspect you know like they're up on their high horse and they're making these rules and

23:47

legislations that they believe the these large amounts of people want I mean and it's very very difficult to govern a

23:55

significant amount of people and I just go back to the origins of cities and

24:00

countries and civilizations where it would have been like a few people um attempting to govern maybe a few

24:07

hundred people and then that gets bigger and bigger and bigger right to a point where we're like where we're at now and let's just say the connect with Canadian

24:13

population of like 150 200 million people and then a small group of people trying to govern all of that like it's

24:19

unbelievably complicated super super messy room for a lot of error and a room

24:25

for a lot of malevolent Behavior but I loved what you were talking about when you're talking about stories

24:31

around the campfire and sharing those things and that without question obviously inspires children to use and

24:37

engage and develop their creative minds their imaginations to create their own stories and to embellish on top of those

24:44

other ones and ask questions and it just gets me to thinking of like the like when our kids go into the school system

24:51

and I don't believe that schools do a brilliant job in regards to

24:56

um developing and um motivating those creative imaginary to

25:03

imaginative centers of of kids you know it's so difficult to be able to like do that individually for like 40 children

25:10

you know it's an impossible job so a lot of kids and they lose that we lose that very very important ability to

25:17

become creative to to use their imagination to ask big questions to make mistakes to recognize other people's

25:22

mistakes and to move forward and and basically do do what science is

25:27

um and then we don't ask God then we don't ask huge big questions like how do I want to serve how do I how do I want

25:34

to live how do I want to die like these are Big okay questions that you can ask yourself but we don't really we don't

25:40

really do that anymore and again it comes to a lack of responsibility and a lack of creativity perhaps because that

25:46

part of our brain does not get developed when we are young where it should because we should be massively

25:52

influenced by our grandparents who have seen it done it and they want they want

25:57

to share and they're in a place you know where they're in their last years of life and all they want to do is like

26:02

serve and provide love and compassion and caring you know like they don't really have a foot in the game anymore

26:08

you know they just want to pass on this wisdom and this information pass on the mistakes pass on the successes and

26:16

just kind of like through that whole lack of development of creativity you're

26:21

not going to ask yourself big questions when you get to become an adult and you become more independent and where you

26:27

should be in a position to be taking more responsibility I think that we take easy routes out I think that we get

26:32

really comfortable I think we love to like blame other people rather than looking inwards and asking ourselves

26:37

these questions like is this the best I can do am I really putting my best effort in here can I do some personal

26:43

development you know like so these big huge questions that are like much more

26:49

inward rather than using the whole external world to you know attempt to just like get

26:56

through life which it just shouldn't really be like that you know like asking yourself the question like how do you

27:01

want to spend the last 10 years of your life and how do I want to serve not just myself and my children and my community

27:08

because that's what like connects us and and brings us all together and

27:13

without question if you know if you've got some experience and you ask the right questions to the right people or you read books and read history we are

27:20

very very far away from you know what human beings did for best to say 100 200 000 years like what

27:29

we're doing now in the last 100 years is very very abnormal for our biological evolution and we have this

27:36

cultural Evolution that is just like so far above us and it's just all over the place it's stimulating it's mad it's

27:42

messy it's wild and unfortunately people get to about 40 50 60 years of age before they realize that and they've

27:49

kind of and it's kind of a little bit too late so yeah it's very very interesting that um we've just kind of taken this

27:55

direction rather than talking about the transformation of relationships but that's just the magical Wonder of

28:00

podcasts I suppose um but I want to kind of bring it back to like what you do in your work well

28:06

first of all do you have a response to just that whole thing I just said before we move on I do

28:12

there are storytellers like me coming up and bringing the stories that we need

28:20

to life there's a need for aliveness in our bodies in our families in our culture

28:27

and the world and it's the artist is the storytellers it's those who remember that can bring

28:35

us back to those connections that you were talking about and I really love how

28:41

you shared about all these aspects and I do agree with everything you said

28:46

I see that what is happening in my life is

28:51

happening at a bigger level and what I mean is that my dad for instance he taught me to listen he taught me to see

28:59

that when we are young we don't understand a lot of things while

29:05

we have the energy and the craziness and the drive to do things we don't have that wisdom to help us know where do we

29:14

put our energy into and the older Generations has gone

29:20

through some experience there's not all of them there are they don't know everything but they know something and

29:26

that's something can be put together with the energy and the mindset of the young and build something together

29:33

create something together this is what newer Generations are dismissing uh they

29:39

are dismissing in Romania they are dismissing it in Canada in the United States it's happening everywhere in the

29:44

world where this idea of oh I don't need you uh I am fine on my own I'm smart

29:50

enough you know I am living in the new ways but by dismissing something that has

29:59

value in it we are depriding ourselves from what we

30:06

can take I mean all all we are asking actually when I say we I say I'm 41.

30:13

so all we my generation is asking and the older ones is listen

30:19

and take only what you need this is what my father taught me Andrea take what you feel

30:24

is okay for you from your mother from me from everybody and leave the rest out

30:30

because the idea is every generation is taking things further and higher I mean this is a belief he had and I do believe

30:37

in that yet we still need to listen to what was

30:43

to listen to their stories because we reached the point where we ask who are

30:48

you why are you here what did what are you here for how can

30:54

you know if you don't know who your family was if you don't know their stories if you don't know their history

31:00

because you have in your bones in your blood you have their DNA do you think

31:07

their stories just vanish because they died are you kidding me the stories

31:13

their beliefs the conditioning has been there even before you were born and they passed it on to you so do you know what

31:20

you have there do you know if you what you have is supporting you or not this is about your health this is about your

31:26

goals this is about your success in business this is about how you're going to be as a finally man woman or anything

31:32

you want to be in the world these are questions we are not asking like you said because we don't think

31:38

well they can tell us they our ancestors can tell us

31:45

through the Legacy they have lived so what is your legacy would be my question

31:50

it's my question to me it's my question to you Summer it's my question to everybody listening what is your legacy

31:57

you're so alone if what if you die in 10 years I'm saying why don't you die

32:02

tomorrow in the next 30 seconds how do you said everybody I love you to

32:08

all the people you love have you appreciated everybody you appreciate do they know you love them do

32:14

they know you appreciate them do they know they hurt you why because there's healing in that what

32:23

are you gonna leave others behind you know what are you going to leave your children you're friends with what's the

32:29

memory they're gonna have about you that you are somebody who was

32:35

about this and this and that that you brought those unnecessary stresses in your life and the life of others when

32:41

you could have simply laughed about it and just make everybody feel comfortable in a moment that you were the person who

32:48

instead of listening to somebody who was traumatized you were actually bullying them or you know or that you were so

32:56

good and so kind you were such a special person but you did not write that book

33:02

with your memories with the things that you could have passed on to others we are all beautiful people and we can

33:10

all impart something upon each other and leave something in the world

33:15

wherever we are and with addiction or it doesn't matter we can get out of anything the question is

33:23

what is your message for the world and that is going to drive everything

33:28

you need it's going to bring the people it's going to bring the relationships it's going to bring the opportunities and you

33:34

take when you take them oh my God that's the Legacy

33:39

beautiful I'd love to talk a little bit more about your work specifically and you know how you work with with

33:46

relationships and transforming them so like how how do you start when you start

33:52

working with an individual how can we begin to like have healthy relationships or recognize there are issues or even

33:59

transform the current relationships that we have because you know relationships last a long time

34:05

and it can seem that relationships like come to a halt or they've come to a negative place or you know even a

34:11

positive place I'm not sure but like how do we even begin to like transform those and even recognize you know maybe what's

34:17

an unhealthy relationship and what's a healthy one we need Clarity and a lot of reflection

34:24

and I'm not sure that we are the ones who can do it on our own entirely right

34:31

the most important question to ask is when I look back and when I look at what

34:38

is now and pick one relationship could be a relationship with yourself relationship with your high power

34:44

relationship with your parents like just pick one relationship and you do the same thing with any other relationship in your life we also have relationship

34:50

with money by the way um and ask yourself the question

34:56

what do I like what I don't like and then

35:02

take a note have one side of the paper with what you like one side of the verb what you don't like or have one notebook

35:09

for one thing one notebook for another thing and then go deeper

35:15

how do I feel about this or that you can be very

35:21

specific or simply how do I feel in this relationship so you go from the mental to the

35:27

emotional and then you're gonna ask your body I really really encourage you to

35:33

ask your body and feel your body when you are thinking of a person when you're

35:38

thinking of a situation because your body is the one who has you know like a

35:45

notepad all the memories all the things that have happened are are taken in are

35:52

memorizing your body and your body is going to tell you you will have a gut feeling your heart is going to feel like

35:58

ah you know or I'm gonna have that peace about it you will know even if your mind

36:05

doesn't tell you even if your emotions are like I don't know how I feel because I'm a man I'm I'm not quite connected to

36:10

my emotion that's okay every man I believe has a very deep connection with his body and I believe our bodies speak

36:18

to us in different ways we just need to understand the language or relearn that language

36:24

and every question can take you deeper and deeper so start with what I like what I want

36:30

um how I feel about it um what would I love most what would I

36:37

keep and what would I not want to feel Seasons experience again

36:44

and all these questions let's go first you're gonna have Clarity and upon that

36:49

Clarity you can create goals you can you can see what's the direction you want to go

36:55

and beyond that one important question to ask in terms of relationships is

37:02

is this relationship serving mean

37:08

and this is not about being selfish this is about being

37:14

healthy and wise in order for a relationship to be healthy we gotta ask those questions and

37:20

see how it serves you because this does not take you to the question oh so do I

37:27

have to remove this relationship from my life do I have to separate now this

37:32

leads you to the question what is next because in the same relationship you want to keep maybe it didn't go that

37:40

well and there are some ways you can find out to improve it so it goes well and it

37:48

serves both of you and yet it starts with you asking about you once you ask about you and you

37:55

discover all those things and the next question is okay do I still want this relationship then if I do want it how

38:02

can I make it better how can I improve things how can I collaborate with the

38:07

other person so together we actually build a beautiful relation we want to be

38:13

in that's helping us and supporting us and in case the relationship is with

38:19

something that is not human like money higher power or anything else

38:25

if you believe in terms of energy then the energy is going to speak to you

38:31

because it's life I believe energy is life and life is energy and life is everything in us and around us and about

38:38

us and when we have these conversations with ourselves

38:43

we actually go into a transformation inside in our minds in our souls in

38:48

everything we are and life is going to respond with an opportunity with an

38:54

Insight with a feeling um with a phone call we receive from somebody and we're like oh this is where

39:00

I was just thinking about it and oh my God so I believe everything we do once

39:06

we start with questions and really Having the courage it takes a lot of

39:11

Courage sometimes to see the answers like when you realize oh that hurt

39:19

those words hurt me or yeah why did I accept that person just like you know it

39:25

it takes some courage with everything and if you don't have that on your own ask how we have coaches we have

39:32

therapists we have friends we have even the mothers even the dog the trees

39:39

just the idea is to have a feeling and an experience that something is

39:45

listening that somebody is listening we need those conversations even if it's

39:50

not with a human that can respond but we need that because it helps us reflect

39:56

and it helps us grow yeah I think we have a very difficult time

40:03

just with Clarity in general especially when it comes to ourselves because it involves it involves stepping back a

40:09

second that involves being um you know self-exploratory of asking yourself tough questions and I don't

40:16

think that's a normal thing right now for for people because I think we have this this poor Direction in regards to

40:23

we allow the external world to completely control our internal experience rather than taking a step

40:30

back and thinking okay you know I can I have a lot more power than I believe over my thoughts feelings and behaviors

40:37

and I can actually change and cultivate those to create the reality that I want

40:43

so I think we have this like incorrect understanding of how

40:48

our emotional state is controlled by the outside world you know I I don't believe

40:54

that whatsoever I believe that it can be very very easy for people to become so over stimulated by our very limited

41:00

senses and our external world of what's going on in and around us because it can be very very overwhelming and stimulating and it's kind of like you

41:07

never literally never switches off so it would be very easy to fall into the

41:13

um I suppose The Logical trap that the reason I feel depressed or the reason I feel sad or the reason I feel lonely is

41:20

because of the outside world and we also have this like big blame cultural culture as well right but if

41:26

we're able to step back have no have Clarity within our thoughts where we're kind of Step like taking ego out of the

41:33

equation and like really like self-evaluating ourselves we're going inside and then we're recognizing that

41:39

there are thoughts that I might have that probably have no validity to them which are um you know creating

41:45

um beliefs and core beliefs about myself which most likely are not true

41:51

and that will lead to emotional states that change out you know our thoughts can

41:57

change our physiological body Through Chemistry it's quite remarkable and if you can do that in like a a negative way

42:02

we can certainly do that to create thoughts and emotions and behaviors that can make us feel incredible and that

42:09

changes your perspective on the outside world which literally changes your reality right so

42:16

it's just remarkable that we yeah I completely agree with you that if we want to make any type of change

42:21

especially like a big thing like a like a relationship within your life which is like an everyday experience you have to

42:28

be able to step back and analyze that and like if you want to successfully progress and advance that then you would

42:36

have to be able to like you know like take a step back and really think about it lay things out on the table and try

42:42

and take ego out of the equation where you're able to use Clarity and reason

42:47

to figure out like you know where because without question in let's just say a bad relationship you're gonna have

42:55

it's gonna be partly your fault there's no like there's no like easy way out of that so it's interesting that you know

43:01

you have to you can only do that when you take that step back and and I love the fact that you use clarity as like a

43:07

beginning process do you what what's your advice for when people have got

43:12

like significant turmoil within their lives you know whether that's like something internal like

43:19

deep thought depression or something that's like outside of them where like they literally haven't got the ability

43:25

or the time to start thinking about you know creating Clarity around their values and beliefs what do you what

43:31

would you recommend to those individuals who are really really struggling breathe

43:37

the first thing is to breathe science has proven that by taking three or four deep breaths we

43:45

are interrupting that cycle of overthinking of stress so the first

43:50

thing is to help our bodies get into that state of peace and calm we

43:56

cannot think clearly if our bodies are in stress

44:04

and there are multiple ways to do that um I mean if we talk about tools heart

44:11

math institutes has some tools biofeedback tools to help you actually see by listening to the heartbeats

44:19

and see on your phone uh breathing in and out what does that do to you because

44:24

they've discovered that when your heart is at peace or when your heart has those

44:30

positive emotions it influences the brain waves so imagine how simple it

44:36

would be if you could simply breathe and realize that when your heart gets into

44:41

coherence your brain gets difficult here is and then you have that state of I would say independence of

44:49

sovereignty where you can be aware of your thoughts aware of your worries aware of what's

44:56

going on inside you that you have physical pain or whatever and also aware what's going on outside and yet

45:04

still have that agency that power of

45:09

control and not react instead see how you can respond it's very important to

45:16

use the body to use the breath to use something that's right here where that's physical to disrupt whatever is going on

45:25

and all of this is just seconds I think in 60 seconds

45:31

um one example is you can use gratitude exercise you know if something is really horrible it's really terrible going on

45:38

this okay if you can because there are situations where we cannot think of that but let's say there is a possibility

45:45

then think of the things you're grateful for several simple things like I'm grateful that I'm alive I'm grateful

45:52

that I'm still breathing despite the fact that I just had something happening to me I'm grateful that I can hear that

46:00

I can see you know just simple things that are very obvious and then you can go into deeper ones and if you think of

46:06

60 seconds you've already disrupted kind of thinking believing of way of

46:13

living and then you can start a new refreshed

46:18

beautiful I think that's just such wonderful advice and I think a lot of people don't recognize I mean when you talk about like

46:25

energy or biofeedback or things like that I think that some people who just don't yet have the understanding or the

46:31

experience that we are like biochemical Electric

46:36

organisms that's just the simple fact that that's that's what we are when you do look at like a a heart rate you know

46:42

like it's a it's electricity it's energy it's frequency and we know that positive

46:48

more positive emotions like love gratitude happiness for example they carry such a stronger more powerful

46:55

um wavelength of energy and then we have anger rage you know these things carry a

47:01

very short wave very very weak frequency and those things especially experience over a long period of time and we're

47:07

supposed to experience these things normally right but when they're experienced like chronically for long periods of time they will change our

47:13

physiology and that's when you start stepping into the to the realm of disease and pathology and much much more

47:19

serious issues but without question like if you're able to work on like becoming

47:25

more having more clarity in your life you're literally like engaging a different part of your brain engaging in

47:31

a different part of your nervous system which you know um works at a very different frequency when you start to be more conscious on

47:38

your breath and using different types of breath work again you're tapping into your nervous system you're you're somewhat taking control over an

47:45

autonomic part of your body which is just you know usually like automatically not happening so you do and then again

47:50

gratitude as well like when you hold yourself in gratitude and happiness and you can try and be grateful and happy for like the a couple of very simple

47:57

things and you can always go back down to the point that yeah I am grateful that I'm alive I'm grateful that I'm breathing

48:02

and those they're not just like things to just say to like make you think better

48:08

they literally change your biology and put you in a place to deal with the

48:13

things that naturally come up which are going to be difficult because life is hard but they'll give you that space and

48:19

that time to be able to respond to those situations rather than having to rely on

48:24

your reptilian stress reaction brain which we can't really engage for more

48:31

than a few minutes at a time with you know with you know with with not having

48:36

long-term effects happen to your body so it's so important to recognize that that

48:41

we are beautiful energetic bio electronic chemical computers and we've

48:48

got the ability we've got so much power within ourselves within our thoughts and our feelings and our behaviors to to change so much of what's going on inside

48:55

of us that yeah it's just interesting that we've not we've just like lost that natural connection and understanding and

49:03

whether that's from just our cultural evolution of maybe not teaching that in schools and embracing that with

49:09

like you know yoga and meditation and you know asking kids big questions you know like I think they can handle that

49:15

type of thing and a combination of like not having those grandparents or great grandparents in the household

49:23

influencing it's it's very very it's very very difficult because somebody who is 80 years old and has experienced so

49:30

much is gonna have a very very different understanding of what being grateful means than like a 20

49:36

year old you know so it's like it's what it's weird and wild that we don't um want to learn more from those

49:42

Generations because it's so unbelievably valuable even though we don't have to agree with everything they say but like

49:48

at least listening and you know being open to listening and being open to being wrong and asking more questions

49:55

um it's just it's just interesting to me that we don't we we just don't want to ask big questions these days

50:02

yeah and you know to sum it up is

50:08

we are connected I keep telling this to people we are all connected where we are aware of that that

50:15

disconnection does not this is not disrupted by anything we are

50:22

connected no matter what we do to each other no matter how much we isolate ourselves from each other we stay

50:29

connected all our emotions and thoughts and everything because our energetic

50:36

uh blueprint is there we it's like it's like we're putting

50:41

drops in an ocean everything we are everything we do everything we think of is drops in an ocean and this ocean is

50:49

made of all of us and we can get support we can get help

50:54

all we need is to make up our minds like what do we want what are we looking for because it's

51:01

already there we have the generations we have the stories we have the history we have people who can help us dig out

51:08

there are all sorts of therapies and and ways to do that and we have our own

51:13

gifts oh my gosh when we discover our own gifts life is so amazing

51:19

one thing I wanted to mention is that here in Canada we have an organization

51:24

that has been educating people to become trauma informed which is Alberta family

51:30

uh Wellness I think they have brain story uh course with certification where

51:36

people can actually see what does the science say what the clinicians say what

51:42

have they discovered through MRIs what happens when we are stressed and we're

51:47

in simple ways is the amygdala in the brain who's releasing the stress hormones gets bigger and bigger the more

51:53

we stay in that stress and when we find ways to cope and relax and find peace

51:59

always three months of continuous practice there are other people who have done their own uh studies with that

52:06

like how God changes your brain there's a book about Andrew by Andrew Newberg I think and these people have found out

52:15

clearly how we get into sickness and illness you know how we get into states

52:21

of stress what's going on in our bodies and then how we can make those changes

52:26

to come back to a healthy State a state of well-being when we take care of all

52:33

these aspects of course not all at once because it will be overwhelming when we take care of all these aspects every

52:40

single thing we do you know I've been reading a book uh The Compound Effect by I think it's Darren Hardy

52:46

and The Compound Effect means that you do one small thing one small thing each

52:52

day one thought a gratitude exercise eating just one thing that's healthy you

52:58

know if you keep doing something very little each day it's gonna add up and

53:03

when you look back after weeks months years you'll be like oh my gosh it's

53:10

such a huge change from the moment where I'm started it all

53:15

you know it takes just a decision once you make that decision stick to it to simple things and change is going to

53:23

happen in your life and the life of loved ones beautiful thank you so much yeah it's um

53:28

we're you know undeniably all super connected so like do we want to do that with love compassion and gratitude or do

53:35

we want to do that with hatred anger and you know these other emotions that are just so they're just so self-limiting so

53:42

yeah it's an interesting it's an interesting conundrum but I think we do have wonderful people out there who are

53:49

providing Solutions who are sharing stories sharing information and we've never lived in a well right now anyway

53:55

we've never lived in such a remarkable time where these stories are accessible to lots and lots of people I pray that

54:01

in the hope that that stays stays that way we keep seeing regimes throughout history that have attempted to you know

54:07

book Burn and to stop these types of thoughts and processes happening and doing their very best to

54:14

um stop that communion to stop that connection that we also desperately need so it's very very interesting but yeah

54:21

there's so many amazing Solutions out there and people who can certainly Inspire but thank you so much for joining me today Andrea that was that

54:27

was quite wonderful can you let people know how they can connect with you before letting you know how we can

54:34

connect with me please watch this podcast because you're gonna discover

54:39

all sorts of solutions and people and ideas that can really nurture you that can really help you wherever you are in

54:47

this place in this moment in time of your life I've listened to some of them and it's it's inspiring and it's it's

54:54

really interesting and you bring uh amazing people that I've never heard of that we should know of who are really

55:01

touching our lives and you can find me always at andreapattu.ca

55:08

a-n-d-r-e-a-p-e-t-r-u-t dot c a i always bring improvements because I'm always learning

55:14

and transforming and developing myself and I will bring more and more things into the world my podcast hitting

55:21

through Oneness and all these interviews that I'm doing aren't going to be up there there's a lot of stuff coming up

55:28

on you and I also have a book on coming out I'm a co-author and pod match guest

55:35

Mastery Book and I will have my own Memoir coming up

55:41

next year so you know lots of good things happening if you need something please reach out to me you can email me

55:47

contact me wherever you find me on social media I will always be there for you beautiful well thank you so much for

55:53

sharing that and if you can send me the link for the Alberta Health something that you mentioned family yeah I will I

56:00

will send because it's it's so good like anyone in the world can take the course

56:05

because it's online and and if you are not in Canada just ask them you know how

56:11

can you access that and I'm sure they will help you awesome yeah so we'll make sure that all those Show links to that

56:18

organization to that course as well as your your social media and your website as well make sure that's all in the show

56:23

notes but Andrea thank you so much for joining me today I really appreciate it

56:29

was such a wonderful conversation thank you I agree yeah it's quite quite something but uh that is it for this

56:36

week on true hope class the official podcast of true hope Canada we will see you next week

56:42

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