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And you know, we're seeing like like record levels of anxiety, anger,

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emotional dysregulation in boys and young men. How much of this do you see as a as a cultural pressure versus maybe unmet developmental needs?

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Well, it starts with unmet developmental needs. There's no doubt about that. That's the root.

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That's the root cause, right? And the more that we educate adults on how important it is to give

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boys access to the full range of emotions, the better off we will be.

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48 seconds

Welcome to True Hope Cast, the official podcast of True Hope Canada, where we explore the physiological and psychological foundations of true mental wellness. I am your host, Simon Brazer,

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57 seconds

and today's conversation goes straight to the heart of identity, emotion, and healing, especially for men and families navigating a culture that often

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1 minute, 6 seconds

disconnects us from our inner world. Our guest today is Gloria Vanderhorse. She's a psychologist, a writer, adviser, and

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1 minute, 13 seconds

mentor. Gloria began her career working with young boys who were too often labeled hyperactive or attention

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1 minute, 20 seconds

deficient when in reality they were expressing natural energy and emotions in a system that didn't really know how to receive it. That work led her to

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1 minute, 28 seconds

fathers and then to a deeper realization. Our culture systematically restricts emotional development in males, cutting them off from the full

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1 minute, 36 seconds

range of feelings required for healthy identity, intimacy, and leadership.

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1 minute, 41 seconds

Using internal family systems and emotional focus therapy, Gloria helps men, couples, and families access stored

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1 minute, 48 seconds

emotional experiences, understanding how their history shows up in the present,

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1 minute, 53 seconds

and create real lasting change. In this episode, we explore why boys and men so often end up in an emotional desert, how

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2 minutes, 1 second

unprocessed history quietly shapens marriages and the family life, the critical role fathers play in protecting

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2 minutes, 8 seconds

their sons emotional health, and how psychological insight and biological support like addressing chronic nutrient deficiencies work together to support

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2 minutes, 17 seconds

mental resilience and healing. If you care about mental health, family relationships, and whole person solutions, this conversation is

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2 minutes, 25 seconds

certainly for you. Today's topic is raising resilient sons in a depleted world. Enjoy the show.

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2 minutes, 31 seconds

All right. Hi, Gloria. Thank you so much for joining us today. How are you and what is going well?

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2 minutes, 38 seconds

Oh, I am excited about talking to you and your audience. And what is going

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2 minutes, 44 seconds

really well for me is communicating to this lovely audience about men and boys

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2 minutes, 54 seconds

and surprising them with some information.

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2 minutes, 57 seconds

Well, I am a man. I have two young boys in my house and I am open to all of the information that will make my life easier.

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3 minutes, 7 seconds

That's great. We're going to be discussing raising resilient sons in a depleted world. That's the topic of I've

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3 minutes, 16 seconds

come up with today. Just looking at your bio, looking at your books, looking looking at that and reflecting how can we combine our understanding and and

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3 minutes, 25 seconds

create a really good show for people to listen to. But before we jump into that topic, would you mind telling us a little bit more about who you are and what it is that you do?

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3 minutes, 35 seconds

I am a psychologist and I come into psychology through math. I loved math as

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3 minutes, 44 seconds

a kid and I was really good at it. And so when I went to college, I wanted to

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3 minutes, 50 seconds

be a math teacher. And I also challenged myself to finish college in three years instead of four and to finish with

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4 minutes

straight A's. So, I was on track to meet that goal when I ran into calculus 2.

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4 minutes, 11 seconds

We had a teacher straight out of Harvard. She faced the blackboard, never turned around and talked to the class,

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4 minutes, 20 seconds

wrote with her right hand, erased with her left. All right. Obviously, everyone is lost. Struggling to learn calculus 2

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4 minutes, 28 seconds

on their own. I got a D and I was thrilled I didn't have to take it again. Oh wow.

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4 minutes, 37 seconds

And then I immediately switched my major and my minor. And it's just one of those

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4 minutes, 43 seconds

experiences in life where you know you hit a roadblock, you hit a wall, but

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4 minutes, 49 seconds

it's there for a reason. And I know now that that was a very positive right-hand

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4 minutes, 59 seconds

turn. I belonged in psychology. That was my minor. And I've thrived in psychology. Loved everything that I've

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5 minutes, 8 seconds

done from teaching to doing individual work to actually communicating with a

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5 minutes, 16 seconds

larger audience through meeting with you. So I'm thrilled to be here.

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5 minutes, 22 seconds

Wonderful. Yeah, it's very hard for me to put myself in the mindset of loving math to the point where I want to be a

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5 minutes, 29 seconds

math teacher. I The only reason I'm half decent at math is from playing darts. Oh, yes.

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5 minutes, 37 seconds

And being able to subtract quickly um largeish numbers,

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5 minutes, 42 seconds

but a apart from a a pub and a dartboard setting. Yeah. Math doesn't, you know, I don't I don't have the same love for math as you do. I obviously recognize

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5 minutes, 50 seconds

it's important, but you you've applied it for something very entertaining,

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I think. So, absolutely. Yeah. And it's how how my sons learn to subract as well. So, we'll see see how that goes.

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6 minutes, 3 seconds

Um, so you began your work with younger boys who who have often been labeled as hyperactive or attention deficient,

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6 minutes, 12 seconds

right? And looking back through your experience, what do you believe has been actually misunderstood about these boys

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6 minutes, 18 seconds

and what does that misunderstanding say about our culture today?

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6 minutes, 24 seconds

So the clear misunderstanding is really based on a dynamic and the dynamic is

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6 minutes, 31 seconds

that most preschools are run by women and boys and girls attend preschools and women have an affinity for little girls.

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6 minutes, 43 seconds

They understand the thinking and the processing of little girls. They really don't understand the thinking and the emotionality of little boys.

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6 minutes, 56 seconds

So little girls will sit in the circle,

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6 minutes, 59 seconds

listen to the story, fold their hands nicely, keep them in their lap. Little boys will be elbowing somebody, pushing

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7 minutes, 8 seconds

somebody. They'll want to get up and move around. They don't want to just sit

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7 minutes, 15 seconds

quietly in one place. I say if we put trees in preschools, boys will be very happy.

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7 minutes, 27 seconds

Interesting. Yeah. I I So I was a preschool teacher in in Sweden for seven years. Fabulous.

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And it was honestly like it was the most favorite job I ever got to do because I would go to work and there were 20 pe 20 kids in this class that just were

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7 minutes, 41 seconds

literally in love with me. like fighting to sit on my lap during circle time and absolutely and I understand and recognize that that

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7 minutes, 49 seconds

difference between the girls and the boys because um I would struggle to perhaps like connect with some of the girls.

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7 minutes, 56 seconds

Um but what we did clearly see and what was an actual policy of this um English-speaking preschool that I worked

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8 minutes, 3 seconds

at in Sweden was that the teachers had there had to be boy teachers and there had to be girl teachers in in every single class. And generally there was

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8 minutes, 12 seconds

three to four um teachers and it would it would always be a 50-50 split.

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8 minutes, 17 seconds

That is marvelous and that is so important. I have a a quick little story

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8 minutes, 24 seconds

about a male teacher in preschool for my granddaughter and they one day were doing

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8 minutes, 32 seconds

fingerpaints, right? and my granddaughter is doing fingerpaints on the paper and then she decides to travel

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8 minutes, 39 seconds

out onto the table and so she's putting color on the table and then she travels down the table leg. Fortunately, she had

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8 minutes, 49 seconds

a male teacher and the male teacher just took out his phone and recorded her

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8 minutes, 56 seconds

doing this. If she had had a female teacher, she would have been stopped.

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9 minutes, 2 seconds

The female would have said, "Keep it on the paper, right? Paint's not supposed to be on the table." So, there's a huge

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9 minutes, 11 seconds

difference between male and female teachers. So, I'm thrilled to hear that you had this experience and that children benefited from that experience.

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9 minutes, 24 seconds

Yeah. I I I think it only makes sense that I mean to from the outside looking in that might seem like a very progressive idea but it just you know it

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9 minutes, 33 seconds

shouldn't really be it should it should make a lot of sense that um that's ideally what children require in a nurturing know

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9 minutes, 42 seconds

like we we have moms and dads you know there's a very clear reason that we've evolved to to to have that influence on

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9 minutes, 48 seconds

on our kids and yeah it's um you know I I live in Canada in BC and that there's

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9 minutes, 54 seconds

barely any um male teachers, especially in a preschool setting. Like it doesn't really doesn't really exist. Yeah, truly.

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So, yeah, it's very Yeah, it's it's just interesting that that that's actually a topic of conversation, but it makes a lot of sense that we need both of those influences.

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10 minutes, 12 seconds

Um, and I love to talk about like the modern idea of masculinity as well because it it all comes from birth, you know, like the influences that we have

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10 minutes, 20 seconds

on our kids. And truly,

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you can't underestimate the influence that preschool has at school has considering that, you know, our kids are spending

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10 minutes, 30 seconds

what 8, 16, 24, like 40 plus hours. Some kids, some some of the kids at my kids daycare are there from 7:00 to 5:00 like

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every single day. That's right. That's just the way it has to be for for some parents and some families. No jud no judgment there.

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But it's a monstrous influence. powerful and one of the big things I really wanted to focus on when I became a dad

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was that it's so important that I am conscious of the adults the other adults

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11 minutes

in my in my kids' lives whether that's their their friends parents uh even my family members like grandparents who are

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11 minutes, 8 seconds

looking after like I need to make sure that my par I can trust those individuals to um take care of my kids essentially but

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11 minutes, 16 seconds

also have those positive influences and the beliefs that I have like that's a really really important part and really important part. So

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11 minutes, 24 seconds

I know through your work you've described modern masculinity as an emotional desert

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and what are the earliest moments you think in maybe let's say a boy's development where you see emotional restrictions begin and how does that

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11 minutes, 39 seconds

shape the man that they inevitably become? It's a great question because the emotional restriction begins in

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11 minutes, 48 seconds

infancy. And this is a shocker for most people. The truth is that men come into

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11 minutes, 56 seconds

the world, boys come into the world with a broader range of emotional expression than girls have. So, I'm going to say that again.

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12 minutes, 7 seconds

Men are born with a broader range of emotional expression than women.

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And by and large, all right, infant boys are interacting with adult females for

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12 minutes, 25 seconds

the majority of the time when they are infants. Yeah.

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12 minutes, 31 seconds

Women who do not know this truth that the boy has a broader range of emotional

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12 minutes, 37 seconds

expression make subtle reactions to the boy going higher in intensity.

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12 minutes, 46 seconds

Boys can get more excited, more exuberant, more expressive and they can also go deeper into the negative. They can get more irritated,

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12 minutes, 58 seconds

more agitated, more angry. And mother or the female caretaker tends to react to that negatively.

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Even just the subtle, right, of screwing up your face and wondering why are you so giddy? Why are you so silly? Right,

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13 minutes, 19 seconds

why are you so irritated? Why are you so negative? Or turning away, right? And infants are brilliant. Their only

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13 minutes, 28 seconds

survival mechanism is reading the environment around them. I tell people

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13 minutes, 34 seconds

if you want to start a business and you would like to find a partner or two,

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13 minutes, 42 seconds

rent an infant and pass this infant around the room. Infants read people perfectly.

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13 minutes, 53 seconds

So, in someone's lap, the infant is going to be cooing and happy, making good eye contact. Somebody else's lap,

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14 minutes, 1 second

the infant's going to start to fidget a little bit. And someone else's lap, the infant will actually start to cry.

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14 minutes, 8 seconds

Nothing wrong with the infant. The infant has just read the room perfectly and told you, "This person is safe. This one's iffy, and that one's dangerous."

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14 minutes, 20 seconds

Infants read our emotionality and they do it as their only survival

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14 minutes, 28 seconds

mechanism. So when mother kind of turns her head or screws up her face,

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14 minutes, 33 seconds

communicates, I'm not comfortable with that intensity, the brilliant infant

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14 minutes, 40 seconds

makes a good survival decision and narrows his range of emotional expression.

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14 minutes, 48 seconds

So right away before he even gets on his feet, we have taught him all right to eliminate these extremes.

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14 minutes, 59 seconds

Eliminate the top, eliminate the bottom.

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15 minutes, 2 seconds

Then we put them on their feet. They start walking around and they are normal

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natural human beings. They still have normal reactions to life.

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15 minutes, 16 seconds

Someone takes their toy in preschool and they start to cry.

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The adult in the system will tell a boy to stop crying.

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15 minutes, 28 seconds

The adult in the system will tell a girl, "What happened? Why are you crying? What's wrong?"

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15 minutes, 37 seconds

Right? They'll be curious about the girl and uncomfortable with the boy's expression of sadness. We tell boys not to cry.

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Yeah.

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Yeah. That's Yeah, it's it's super interesting. And I I feel like children have this this sixth sense, this connection to energy that we kind of lose as adults.

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You you put it in in a way that I've not really thought about it before in regards to, you know, they can't they can't really fight their way in

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survival. They can't really run away in survival. So their instinctual survival nature as a as a small human is is is to feel out what's safe and what isn't.

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That's right.

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16 minutes, 21 seconds

And you know, everything at the end of the day is is energy, whether that's light or or food or or emotions. All of this is a on a on a frequency. Okay.

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16 minutes, 30 seconds

I know I know people as adults that are without question like more sensitive to to to light or to the like the EMFs that

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we have, you know, like people are more connected to those is like let's just say they have a stronger antenna or a more sensitive antenna. And

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16 minutes, 45 seconds

it makes a lot of sense the way you put it there that kids,

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16 minutes, 49 seconds

young kids are using that um that extra sense in their lives and as adults we've kind

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16 minutes, 57 seconds

of been programmed out of that. Do you think that as adults we've we've lost that sixth sense or is it just a normal

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17 minutes, 4 seconds

evolutionary part of becoming an adult that we don't require that safety mechanism anymore and therefore you know we use it?

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17 minutes, 12 seconds

We we still require that we still need that. It's not accessible to men. It still exists.

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17 minutes, 22 seconds

Your brain does not lose anything. It's an incredible storehouse.

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17 minutes, 28 seconds

So you can still find ways to tap into those feeling states that you've denied

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17 minutes, 37 seconds

existence in your life. They still exist, but it's very hard to open those boxes. Yeah.

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17 minutes, 45 seconds

Again, right? They're stored in the attic and they're way back in the dark

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17 minutes, 51 seconds

part of the attic. But it is important that we facilitate

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17 minutes, 59 seconds

men being able to access that full range of feeling states because you cannot

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18 minutes, 6 seconds

develop a successful intimate relationship with someone of the opposite sex or the same sex unless you can access those feeling states. So,

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18 minutes, 20 seconds

you know, the divorce rate in the United States is 50%. Or more. The

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18 minutes, 27 seconds

statisticians will tell you the divorce rate is declining and that is an absolute lie. The thing that's happening

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18 minutes, 37 seconds

is that people are not getting officially married. M so that when they have kids, have a

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18 minutes, 45 seconds

house, decide to split up, there's no record. Interesting.

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18 minutes, 52 seconds

Right. So the divorce rate has not dropped. And think about that. All

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18 minutes, 58 seconds

right. We somehow are as a culture accepting of this truth that the divorce

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19 minutes, 6 seconds

rate is 50%. That means half of our children do this very bizarre thing of

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19 minutes, 15 seconds

moving back and forth between two houses every week,

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19 minutes, 20 seconds

right? Two or three times sometimes in the week. Now, would you like to do that? Do you want to pack a bag and move

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19 minutes, 28 seconds

someplace else for two days and then come back to another place for two days? I mean, it's insane.

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19 minutes, 34 seconds

Yeah. I've got our children.

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19 minutes, 36 seconds

Yeah. I don't have a lot of examples from my childhood from like divorced divorced parents of friends of mine, but there are a couple of examples and

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19 minutes, 45 seconds

they're not they they've definitely got stuff in their adulthood that trauma from those situations without question.

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19 minutes, 54 seconds

And I explain to my I explain to my kids, they're four and six. My six-year-old gets it a lot more, but when they my kids constantly want our

20:03

20 minutes, 3 seconds

attention or they don't want to go to bed or they want us to lay with them till they fall asleep, I explain to my

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20 minutes, 10 seconds

boys the fact that, you know, there are there are friends in his class that don't have parents that aren't together

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20 minutes, 17 seconds

and they have to spend one week with mom and one week with dad and their parents are now together. And I explained that there's probably the reason that that

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20 minutes, 25 seconds

happened is because the parents at some way down the line couldn't connect anymore. They couldn't communicate. They couldn't relate with each other. They

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20 minutes, 34 seconds

probably didn't have enough time together. Life stress, divorce.

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20 minutes, 39 seconds

And I explained to my boys that it's very important that I am your father and I am your brother's father and I'm a

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20 minutes, 47 seconds

husband. I have all these individual roles that I have to work on. You know,

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20 minutes, 52 seconds

I can't just work on being a dad all the time. You know, it's so important that that his mom and I work on our relationship and have time together,

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21 minutes, 1 second

even if it's just like watching a silly show and just like holding hands on the sofa. Like these this is an important value and that I I said to him, "Listen,

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21 minutes, 11 seconds

you would you like mom and I to split up?" And he's like, "No." I say, "Okay,

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21 minutes, 15 seconds

well, this is why you need to respect that. We need our space. We need our time to be able to to do that because,

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21 minutes, 21 seconds

you know, the the outcome for him, I have to explain it to him because he's six, but the outcome is like disastrous, which it would be."

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21 minutes, 28 seconds

And this is why I need you to respect our time. And, you know, I speak to him like I I would be speaking to my 41-year-old best friend. Um, and

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21 minutes, 36 seconds

that is so important. That's the advice that I give to parents consistently. Your child does not have to go to sleep.

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21 minutes, 44 seconds

All right. Your child has to be in bed,

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21 minutes, 48 seconds

but in bed so that you as an adult can have a break and interact with your spouse.

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21 minutes, 57 seconds

Yeah.

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21 minutes, 58 seconds

And build that relationship. Your child does not have to go to sleep. Walk out of the room. Yeah.

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22 minutes, 4 seconds

Right. Leave them in bed. Educate them just the way you have done. Mom and dad need time together.

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22 minutes, 14 seconds

Yeah, it's powerful and children respect that. They understand that.

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22 minutes, 21 seconds

Um, I had a question that popped up. I just kind of made made a note of. So,

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22 minutes, 24 seconds

we'll just go back at one little step there. I wanted to ask you about the expectations that I feel a lot of adults have on young kids and their emotional

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22 minutes, 33 seconds

stability. We, you know, a lot of people, they're 30, 40, 50 years of age.

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22 minutes, 37 seconds

their parents, they've got young kids and they've obviously got their own personal experience of, let's say,

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22 minutes, 42 seconds

controlling our emotions, whatever that means, right?

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22 minutes, 45 seconds

Um, and we have that expectation on these young people as well who are just like these energetic balls of chaos.

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22 minutes, 52 seconds

Um, and we have this wild expectation that they should have the 40 years of experience of emotional stability like we do. Like what would you say to

23:00

23 minutes

individ that happens a lot? I I would tell parents to remember that emotions are

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23 minutes, 8 seconds

natural and they are important. So you want to attend to them. You don't want to

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23 minutes, 15 seconds

dismiss any of them. All right? You also don't want to uh inflate them. You

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23 minutes, 22 seconds

right? You don't want to encourage your kid to inflate their emotionality,

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23 minutes, 29 seconds

but you want to take their emotional expression seriously.

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23 minutes, 34 seconds

And that means if they're sad, they need attention. If they're silly, they need attention.

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23 minutes, 42 seconds

Right? If they're excited, they need attention. They're sponges. Yeah.

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23 minutes, 48 seconds

Right. They need attention in order to build a strong sense of themselves.

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23 minutes, 56 seconds

So, do they need you to invest an hour paying attention? Not necessarily. Maybe

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24 minutes, 6 seconds

once in a while, but they cannot be dismissed. If you dismiss a child's feeling states,

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24 minutes, 16 seconds

tell them to stop crying for example, which is so classic for little boys.

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24 minutes, 22 seconds

If you tell them to stop crying, all right, you have created emotional damage

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24 minutes, 28 seconds

that will indeed have a long-term impact. All right. They will try to

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24 minutes, 35 seconds

control those tender, softer emotions and learn that, you know, the world, the society doesn't want that part of me.

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24 minutes, 44 seconds

Yeah.

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24 minutes, 45 seconds

So, I have to deny that part of me. And that's so damaging in the long run.

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24 minutes, 52 seconds

Yeah. That can be I'm 100% guilty of of of saying that to my my boys. And when I reflect and look back on it, it's certainly in times when I am in like a

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25 minutes, 1 second

high stress when I'm just like I'm the end of my rope. I'm tired. I'm depleted. I probably haven't eaten enough food.

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25 minutes, 9 seconds

Um, you know, all these things come into it. But then there's, you know, the majority of the time when I have taken care of all of those extra things that gives me the ability to parent better,

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then I I'm all for like, you know,

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25 minutes, 20 seconds

sitting there and being in the moment with with with my kids to to to express whatever emotions they that they have to do that. So, I recognize the the

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25 minutes, 29 seconds

struggle as parents in 2026 and it can be difficult to always match your kids needs and requirements because it can

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25 minutes, 37 seconds

seem like a constant it can seem overwhelming. 30 30 hour a day job you know it's like

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25 minutes, 44 seconds

it's be beyond our capacity sometimes but so I have a lot of sympathy for that but I think there's a lot of work we can do as individuals there's so many

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25 minutes, 53 seconds

legitimizing that feeling is very important it doesn't mean you have to stop the world get off and pay intense attention

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26 minutes, 1 second

to it you do have to legitimize it and if you don't have the bandwidth to attend to it at that point you do have to make an appointment with yourself,

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26 minutes, 13 seconds

go back to that child, all right, and be interested in what that emotion was,

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26 minutes, 21 seconds

obviously explaining why you couldn't attend to it at that moment, but it's still important. It has value for you

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26 minutes, 29 seconds

and it has value for the child. So, you do want to always give some form of attention to the child's emotional state.

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26 minutes, 39 seconds

Yeah, if I ever really want my kid to do something, I'd get down like eye level and hold his hand and just like talk talk to him. And like my success rate

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26 minutes, 47 seconds

with that is like remarkable rather than I'm trying to brush my teeth and I'm shouting from the other room for him to do something. It's like I I wouldn't

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26 minutes, 55 seconds

listen to I wouldn't listen to anybody if they were shouting at me from another room, right?

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26 minutes, 59 seconds

You know. Yeah. So, yeah, it makes a lot of sense and it's trying to stay in the trying to stay in the moment and understand. Great example.

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27 minutes, 6 seconds

Yeah. Um so many men enter therapy because of relationship breakdown rather

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27 minutes, 13 seconds

than um emotional awareness. From your perspective, you know, why do husbands so often disappoint and what is usually happening, you know,

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27 minutes, 23 seconds

beneath the surface of things?

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27 minutes, 26 seconds

Yeah. The thing that really is happening is that the male is not in touch with his own feeling states because we've

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27 minutes, 33 seconds

socialized him to deny them, to ignore them, to see them as weakness,

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27 minutes, 41 seconds

uh to see them as feminine. All right? So, we've socialized men to avoid going deeper.

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27 minutes, 52 seconds

Uh they can go deeper. um they need help to do that, right?

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28 minutes

Either through educating themselves by reading and challenging themselves to be

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28 minutes, 8 seconds

more interested in what their emotional reactions are or by working with someone like a therapist.

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28 minutes, 17 seconds

Yeah.

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28 minutes, 18 seconds

Or being in a group. There are wonderful groups that are forming throughout the

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28 minutes, 23 seconds

United States to educate men about their emotional reality. There's one here in

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28 minutes, 32 seconds

this area that has tentacles all over the United States called Everyman.

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28 minutes, 41 seconds

And I guess I'll do an ad for it. It It's spelled E V R Y M.

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28 minutes, 48 seconds

and they run groups, they run retreats,

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28 minutes, 53 seconds

they bring in speakers and their entire focus is on helping men to recapture

29:03

29 minutes, 3 seconds

the truth about the full range of feeling experiences that a human being is born with.

29:13

29 minutes, 13 seconds

And it's wonderful to see this process unfold for men. I love working with men in therapy for this very reason. Right.

29:24

29 minutes, 24 seconds

Because I know what the potential Yeah.

29:27

29 minutes, 27 seconds

is. And when you see a man begin to understand that he has access to these

29:36

29 minutes, 36 seconds

feeling states, it's wonderful to see the change. I love it.

29:43

29 minutes, 43 seconds

And um I guess from a lot of what we've spoken about already about how you know like fathers and mothers can can work

29:50

29 minutes, 50 seconds

with their young kids to kind of teach them those those that skill set that that obviously plays a huge role when they become adults as well.

30:00

30 minutes

Absolutely. Yeah.

30:02

30 minutes, 2 seconds

Um and you know we're seeing like like record levels of anxiety, anger,

30:08

30 minutes, 8 seconds

emotional dysregulation in boys and young men. How much of this do you see as a as a cultural pressure versus maybe unmet developmental needs?

30:19

30 minutes, 19 seconds

Well, it starts with unmet developmental needs. There's no doubt about that. That's the root.

30:26

30 minutes, 26 seconds

That's the root cause, right? And the more that we educate adults on how important it is to give

30:34

30 minutes, 34 seconds

boys access to the full range of emotions, the better off we will be. And

30:41

30 minutes, 41 seconds

I would say that education is happening in part throughout the United States because

30:49

30 minutes, 49 seconds

teenage boys uh in today's culture have more interest and curiosity about how other people are feeling.

31:00

31 minutes

Uh historically that's not been true.

31:04

31 minutes, 4 seconds

Boys have avoided how other people are feeling. And when you're curious about how someone else is feeling,

31:13

31 minutes, 13 seconds

you they serve as a mirror, right? So that you can be curious about well, what are you feeling and what would you feel if you were in that boy's situation?

31:25

31 minutes, 25 seconds

So it is happening. It for my sense is not happening fast enough. I want things

31:33

31 minutes, 33 seconds

to go to go faster and to go in a more um more supportive way. All right. Boys are struggling on

31:41

31 minutes, 41 seconds

their own to figure out how do I gain access to the full range of feeling states. I wish the educational system,

31:50

31 minutes, 50 seconds

for example,

31:52

31 minutes, 52 seconds

uh were doing what you describe as your preschool teaching experience and making

31:58

31 minutes, 58 seconds

sure that men and women are available to young children and continuing that throughout the rest of their education.

32:10

32 minutes, 10 seconds

and actually bringing the truth into education that boys need access to the

32:17

32 minutes, 17 seconds

full range of feeling states just as well as girls do. That'll bring down the divorce rate and that will stop our

32:26

32 minutes, 26 seconds

jails from being filled with men. Our jails are filled with men for this very reason that we don't give them access to

32:35

32 minutes, 35 seconds

the full range of emotions. So their problem solving is truly limited.

32:43

32 minutes, 43 seconds

So a I mean to to kind of wrap that all up, we're talking about like a lack of development and a lot of men actually

32:51

32 minutes, 51 seconds

not reaching the the full scale of what it what it is to become an adult man, I guess, psychologically speaking.

32:59

32 minutes, 59 seconds

Absolutely.

33:01

33 minutes, 1 second

Super interesting. And that really comes into kind of the next piece I'd love to talk about, which is nutrition. And you

33:09

33 minutes, 9 seconds

know, we're looking to, you know, so obviously we all know it's very important to to nutrate the body, to nutrate the brain with with good quality um food and nutrition, but you know,

33:20

33 minutes, 20 seconds

we're looking to nurture and nourish people's and young people's ability to be responsible and

33:28

33 minutes, 28 seconds

to have structure and to recognize their place. Like these are all things a part of the development and we're talking

33:35

33 minutes, 35 seconds

about like young kids to um prepubescent um teenagers and the growth that happens with that the hormonal changes the

33:43

33 minutes, 43 seconds

neurological changes the requirement for um that development phase with nutrition is is significant and here here at True

33:53

33 minutes, 53 seconds

Hope Canada you know we work with so many parents of young kids who you know not necessarily all going through, you

34:01

34 minutes, 1 second

know, 12, 13, 14 years of age, but like we've got like six, seven, eight year olds that are struggling as well. These kids don't fall into the the let's just say the the boxes of societal norms.

34:14

34 minutes, 14 seconds

Kids that might be struggling. You know,

34:15

34 minutes, 15 seconds

we sp we spoke about um attention deficit disorders and things like that.

34:20

34 minutes, 20 seconds

like I don't know you know I don't know um I don't think anyone knows a an individual or a parent without a kid without like a diagnosis or something

34:29

34 minutes, 29 seconds

even from the ages of like four five years of age these days you know it seems to be quite um super frequent but

34:37

34 minutes, 37 seconds

from your clinical experience do you see like um do you see emotional work sometimes

34:44

34 minutes, 44 seconds

stall because maybe the brain itself lacks the biological resources to you know regulate those emotions.

34:52

34 minutes, 52 seconds

Oh, I think there's a very direct connection.

34:56

34 minutes, 56 seconds

Um and if you think about um the importance of nutrition, all

35:04

35 minutes, 4 seconds

right, our bodies need certain things in order to function successfully.

35:12

35 minutes, 12 seconds

So we need brain food.

35:14

35 minutes, 14 seconds

Yeah. We can't function successfully if we are malnourished or if we are poorly

35:21

35 minutes, 21 seconds

nourished. And you know there's a a plethora of people who are poorly

35:29

35 minutes, 29 seconds

nourished. All right. Because they choose to put French fries into their bodies instead of salads.

35:37

35 minutes, 37 seconds

Yeah. Right. Let's just face that. Sure. We eat poorly. Yeah.

35:43

35 minutes, 43 seconds

Right. And very few people actually educate themselves on how to nurture

35:50

35 minutes, 50 seconds

their bodies. Right? We have a a a serious difficulty with diabetes all throughout

36:00

36 minutes

the United States. I don't know if it's true in Canada as well, but you know, we just have this plethora of people

36:09

36 minutes, 9 seconds

suffering from diabetes and it's not necessary,

36:16

36 minutes, 16 seconds

right? You don't have to put your body into that condition. Yeah.

36:23

36 minutes, 23 seconds

Yeah. No, it's it's we're all about nutrition here at True Hope. You know, the company was founded on providing individuals the required

36:33

36 minutes, 33 seconds

vitamins, minerals, amino acids that that the developing brain requires.

36:38

36 minutes, 38 seconds

And especially during those key phases of growth where the body just like ramps up ramps up it its need.

36:46

36 minutes, 46 seconds

That's right.

36:47

36 minutes, 47 seconds

And the typical teenage diet is nutrient deficient anyway. You chuck in caffeine and sugary drinks and the body is

36:54

36 minutes, 54 seconds

consistently in this place of lack. And I would argue that even if you were to get 95% of your um the nutrition from

37:03

37 minutes, 3 seconds

your into your kids from let's say good quality sources that the fact is our soil was so unbelievably deficient in all of these

37:10

37 minutes, 10 seconds

key nutrients anyway meaning our the plants that grow are super nutrient deficient as well. And we've known this

37:18

37 minutes, 18 seconds

from the 30s with like really really big reports primarily coming out of the US that our food was like 99% deficient in the majority of everything like nearly

37:27

37 minutes, 27 seconds

100 years ago. So I can only imagine that what it is now. So supplementation these days is not it's not an option.

37:34

37 minutes, 34 seconds

you know, it's you just have to be doing it. And especially for these young kids and when you talk about brain health, you talk about emotions and hormones,

37:43

37 minutes, 43 seconds

all of these things are, you know,

37:45

37 minutes, 45 seconds

physical chemicals within the body. And if you don't have the building blocks to be able to produce them, your body is not going to be able to produce them in

37:53

37 minutes, 53 seconds

in adequate amounts. And it's it's honestly it's as simple as that. So the nutritional aspect is so so vital just

38:01

38 minutes, 1 second

as well as like you know supporting and helping nourish your child emotionally.

38:07

38 minutes, 7 seconds

Absolutely right. And we are not well educated in that area. Right. If you think we're

38:14

38 minutes, 14 seconds

poorly educated about emotional development,

38:19

38 minutes, 19 seconds

I think it pales in comparison to our education about nutritional importance. It really does. Otherwise, you know,

38:28

38 minutes, 28 seconds

significant part of our population would not be walking around with diabetes.

38:33

38 minutes, 33 seconds

Yeah. And it it it really sucks because we're supposed to be, you know, we're governed by a government to take care of its people. Unfortunately, we don't get

38:42

38 minutes, 42 seconds

the we don't get the education um requirements in school to recognize, you know, what's good food, what isn't, the role of sugar, the role of, you know,

38:52

38 minutes, 52 seconds

lots of these things in our food system. That's just like normal. And also, we don't, you know, it's not I I I have a lot of

38:59

38 minutes, 59 seconds

sympathy with people that like choose to like have McDonald's that say three,

39:03

39 minutes, 3 seconds

four, five times a week because eating healthy is it's time consuming if you want to cook. A lot of people don't have the time. they work 50 60 hours a week,

39:12

39 minutes, 12 seconds

right?

39:13

39 minutes, 13 seconds

To get food on the table. And then also like good quality healthy organic food is like so unbelievably expensive. So

39:20

39 minutes, 20 seconds

like you are pushed into an economic situation into a funnel where you know if you just want to get any calories into your kids into your

39:27

39 minutes, 27 seconds

family, you're kind of you're kind of thrown into that requirement. So yeah, I can't remember the last time I saw a

39:34

39 minutes, 34 seconds

government ad for carrots or vegetables or fruits. you know, you don't we don't really see it. And I think that's just

39:42

39 minutes, 42 seconds

been like so many things over the last 50 60 years, it's kind of just been pushed aside as something that the

39:50

39 minutes, 50 seconds

parents and the people would just like sort out. It's not important to, you know, make sure that our young people and our adults and we're being, you

39:57

39 minutes, 57 seconds

know, we're subsidizing the right industries to make sure that we've got plenty of these things that the people can, you know, take care of themselves

40:05

40 minutes, 5 seconds

nutritionally. Like unfortunately we have to do as individuals as citizens. We have to we have to educate ourselves.

40:12

40 minutes, 12 seconds

We have to read the right things. We have to uh relearn these things as adults and it's a lot of these things that we

40:20

40 minutes, 20 seconds

not expect but you know we should have support from our schools from our governments from our doctors to recognize about the the vital role of

40:29

40 minutes, 29 seconds

nutrition. It's so important. is incredibly important and I love to hear that you are working hard in that area and educating people. That's wonderful.

40:41

40 minutes, 41 seconds

Yeah, we we have lots of conversations here at True Hope with, you know, trying to help people recognize that, you know,

40:47

40 minutes, 47 seconds

so our primary product here is called Empower Plus. It's a it's a combination of 37 ingredients, primarily minerals,

40:53

40 minutes, 53 seconds

vitamins, and amino acids. And what we're doing um is helping people take a couple of steps

41:00

41 minutes

back to take care of their foundational root requirements of nutrition. Because so many people who go into a a health a

41:08

41 minutes, 8 seconds

health food store or speak to a naturopath or a nutritionist,

41:12

41 minutes, 12 seconds

they're looking for something that's going to like help them or fix them or cure them. That's the culture we have.

41:18

41 minutes, 18 seconds

You know, we have a problem, we go to the doctor, we get something that's gonna fix us, right?

41:24

41 minutes, 24 seconds

Yeah, exactly. And it's the same it's the same with natural health. You know,

41:27

41 minutes, 27 seconds

you go into a health food store, you need something for sleep, they're going to give you melatonin, they're going to give you GABA, elenine, these like one ingredient things which can be beneficial,

41:37

41 minutes, 37 seconds

right?

41:37

41 minutes, 37 seconds

But but at the end of the day, our philosophy here at True Hope is we want you to be able to make these things. We want you to be able to make melatonin.

41:47

41 minutes, 47 seconds

We want you to be able to make serotonin and dopamine. And the requirements for these is is amino acids at its base.

41:54

41 minutes, 54 seconds

Then you need vitamins and minerals to do all the amazing um enzyatic reactions to be co-actors for all of these things.

42:02

42 minutes, 2 seconds

So what we're trying to do, which I believe is incredibly unique when even in the natural health world, is listen, let's take a couple of steps back here.

42:10

42 minutes, 10 seconds

Let's give your body the nutrition it requires for a few weeks, a few months,

42:14

42 minutes, 14 seconds

and let's actually see, do you have a sleep disorder? Do you have anxiety? Do you have um fatigue? Or maybe you've

42:23

42 minutes, 23 seconds

just been nutrient deficient for 20 years and you're overcaffeinated, you're dehydrated. Let's take care of these

42:29

42 minutes, 29 seconds

root things that ideally in a perfect world, you wouldn't have to think about that because you could just get it from your diet. But we just don't live in

42:37

42 minutes, 37 seconds

that. We just don't live in that reality anymore. So, we're looking to like help people take a few steps back, take care of their foundations, and then what we

42:45

42 minutes, 45 seconds

find 99 times out of 100 is that people are nutrient deficient. And once we get this product into them, they're able to

42:52

42 minutes, 52 seconds

start thinking about the other things that are so important for mental health and well-being, which is, you know, like exercising, cooking food, being part of their community,

43:02

43 minutes, 2 seconds

really gives people the ability to get back once you take care of those foundations.

43:07

43 minutes, 7 seconds

That's exciting, right? Because your brain needs food. Sure does.

43:12

43 minutes, 12 seconds

It needs really good food in order to function. So, that's very exciting.

43:17

43 minutes, 17 seconds

You got it. And I'd love to ask you about um what you see in regards to as a psychologist in regards to like

43:24

43 minutes, 24 seconds

long-term nutrient deficiencies and its connection to, you know, a lot of the things that, you know, young men experience. So, yeah. As a psychologist,

43:32

43 minutes, 32 seconds

how do you view the role of, you know,

43:34

43 minutes, 34 seconds

long-term nutritional deficiencies in things like uh mood regulation, impulse control, um emotional resilience,

43:43

43 minutes, 43 seconds

especially as grown boys?

43:45

43 minutes, 45 seconds

Well, one of the things that happens for men because they don't have access to the full range of emotions is that they

43:54

43 minutes, 54 seconds

numb themselves out, right? And they numb themselves out with alcohol. Quite popular. Yeah.

44:02

44 minutes, 2 seconds

They numb themselves out with drugs. And they numb themselves out with the television.

44:10

44 minutes, 10 seconds

Yeah.

44:11

44 minutes, 11 seconds

Right. Those are the three things that you will find if you look closely at the

44:18

44 minutes, 18 seconds

male population and ask what are they doing with the time that they're not working.

44:26

44 minutes, 26 seconds

Yeah. All right. They're drinking. They're watching television. All right.

44:32

44 minutes, 32 seconds

They are completely damaging their brains by shutting them

44:39

44 minutes, 39 seconds

down and just numbing them out. And it's no wonder then that they get into conflicts with their family members,

44:50

44 minutes, 50 seconds

that the divorce rate increases, that they're not accessible

44:56

44 minutes, 56 seconds

to their children. So there's a clear interact inter interface and interaction

45:02

45 minutes, 2 seconds

between what you put in your body and what you can actually accomplish in terms of relationship with other people.

45:13

45 minutes, 13 seconds

So it's critical that we pay attention to this.

45:18

45 minutes, 18 seconds

Yeah. I love your use of full range of emotions and I'm kind of going to steal that a little bit in regards to, you know, a lot of young young people, a lot of people aren't getting their full range of nutrition.

45:28

45 minutes, 28 seconds

That's right.

45:29

45 minutes, 29 seconds

And there's going to be down the road without question issues that that come up for that. It's it's just absolutely inevitable.

45:38

45 minutes, 38 seconds

Yeah.

45:39

45 minutes, 39 seconds

um in regards to like introgating a lot of what you've spoken about and maybe um creating some hope for people for for

45:48

45 minutes, 48 seconds

parents listening who are who might be worried about raising emotionally healthy sons in a chaotic depleted kind

45:55

45 minutes, 55 seconds

of scary world sometimes. What are one or two foundational things they can get started with today?

46:04

46 minutes, 4 seconds

They can educate themselves, right? You cannot show a person down a path unless you've traveled it yourself.

46:15

46 minutes, 15 seconds

Right? So if you want to be a guide for your children, then take your own emotional health seriously.

46:23

46 minutes, 23 seconds

Right? The reason that I've written a couple of journal books is to help adults

46:30

46 minutes, 30 seconds

dive into their emotional histories as well as their emotions in

46:37

46 minutes, 37 seconds

the present and surface their own feeling states. So they build a

46:44

46 minutes, 44 seconds

vocabulary of being able to talk about their own feelings and being able to experience

46:52

46 minutes, 52 seconds

their own feelings instead of shoving them aside, denying them, suppressing them. We want to raise the consciousness

47:02

47 minutes, 2 seconds

of adults, both men and women, that they have a broad range of feeling experiences.

47:11

47 minutes, 11 seconds

I've put on my website a list of feeling words that anybody can access. Just go

47:18

47 minutes, 18 seconds

to my website and download this list of feelings. I think it's three or four

47:25

47 minutes, 25 seconds

pages, three or four columns of feeling words. Okay.

47:29

47 minutes, 29 seconds

And the fun thing about your brain is that your brain can recognize what you're feeling in the moment even when

47:38

47 minutes, 38 seconds

you can't produce it. So if you scan through these lists of feelings, the experience that you're having in the moment will pop off the page, right?

47:48

47 minutes, 48 seconds

It'll just smack you in the face. Oh,

47:51

47 minutes, 51 seconds

I'm feeling this. And then suddenly you can have a conversation about feeling demoralized, right? Which

48:00

48 minutes

is probably a word you wouldn't have generated on your own. All right? You would have said, "I'm feeling angry." If you're a male,

48:08

48 minutes, 8 seconds

you would have said, "I'm feeling depressed." If you're a female, but there's a big difference between those and demoralized. Yeah.

48:14

48 minutes, 14 seconds

So now I could really talk about the feeling that I'm experiencing.

48:21

48 minutes, 21 seconds

So it's critical that as adults, we educate ourselves and open up our

48:30

48 minutes, 30 seconds

brain's capability to experience the full range of feeling states. So you can

48:37

48 minutes, 37 seconds

do that with the feeling sheet. You can do that with my book, Read, Reflect, Respond, Three Rs of Growth and Change,

48:45

48 minutes, 45 seconds

which is a wonderful journal book that lets you draw, scribble, as well as use language to respond.

48:54

48 minutes, 54 seconds

Amazing. So, in your book, um, if you could leave fathers listening with one clear

49:02

49 minutes, 2 seconds

maybe warning and one clear hope about raising sons in this culture, what would what would those be?

49:09

49 minutes, 9 seconds

It would be that it is dangerous to maintain the cultural expectation

49:17

49 minutes, 17 seconds

that you are to deny yourself access to the full range of feelings. Open yourself up,

49:26

49 minutes, 26 seconds

right? Educate yourself that you are a normal, healthy human being. You have

49:34

49 minutes, 34 seconds

the ability to gain access to the full range of feeling states. That will benefit you and it will benefit everyone that you're in relationship with.

49:45

49 minutes, 45 seconds

whether it's family, work, relationships, fun relationships, it will have a significant benefit. So,

49:55

49 minutes, 55 seconds

educate yourself.

49:57

49 minutes, 57 seconds

I think um just on that topic of education because you know if we had this conversation 30 or maybe even 10 years ago,

50:06

50 minutes, 6 seconds

you know, you would have to you know sign up for courses in person. You would have to go to the library. You might even have to do university courses to

50:14

50 minutes, 14 seconds

learn this type of information. But we live in a world of podcasts now where you can go for a walk and you can have access to some of the smartest, most

50:22

50 minutes, 22 seconds

educated individuals on the planet. We really do live in a time where accessibility to to the best possible

50:30

50 minutes, 30 seconds

information or like a broad spectrum of um opinions, I guess, right? Uh I really

50:38

50 minutes, 38 seconds

find it valuable just just just for me in my life to have a few individuals that I recognize to be type of like

50:45

50 minutes, 45 seconds

mentor type individuals that I've never met these people but I love the way that they talk. I love the way that they hold themselves. I love their confidence. And

50:54

50 minutes, 54 seconds

I think that having role models even as a 41 year old man I think is really really important as like kind of an

51:01

51 minutes, 1 second

example as something to um continue to learn from to question things that you

51:09

51 minutes, 9 seconds

know come up for me. And I love I love my ability now as to say as a 40-year-old because as a 30-year-old and a 20-year-old especially I did not have

51:17

51 minutes, 17 seconds

the skill set of um being happy to be wrong or recognizing that I don't know everything and have you know that's

51:25

51 minutes, 25 seconds

that's a really big skill set and also being able to ask for help like and support like without question

51:32

51 minutes, 32 seconds

the most incredible question you could ask somebody is is is for help and support with something and being I want to say like being man enough to ask for

51:41

51 minutes, 41 seconds

that is super important because you know everybody everybody needs that sometimes and I think being able to put that ego

51:50

51 minutes, 50 seconds

aside as frequently as possible is is a really valuable skill for people and you know as an adult with kids trying to instill that and setting that example

51:58

51 minutes, 58 seconds

for them and I think that I would um going forward as a as a parent I I would and I've had this conversation with

52:07

52 minutes, 7 seconds

friends of mine who are going to become parents and they sometimes ask for advice but sometimes they don't which is also okay. It's like you know you want

52:14

52 minutes, 14 seconds

your you know you want your your kids to obviously love you but you know there are lots of kids that love very abusive parents but there has

52:23

52 minutes, 23 seconds

to be a respect there as well and you want to be you want to be an example of the the man you hopefully develop them into becoming and I think that that's a that's a good place to be.

52:34

52 minutes, 34 seconds

Mhm.

52:35

52 minutes, 35 seconds

So it is important that we value relationship and that we value

52:42

52 minutes, 42 seconds

attachment and that we really understand how the people that we choose to attach to influence us.

52:53

52 minutes, 53 seconds

Right. So as you said sometimes our attachments influence us negatively.

53:00

53 minutes

Raising your consciousness to really evaluate How does this relationship support me, help me, or hurt me is a

53:09

53 minutes, 9 seconds

really good question to ask. And then having the courage to seek out relationships that support you

53:18

53 minutes, 18 seconds

and help you is the next step if you're in relationships that are damaging or controlling or demoralizing.

53:28

53 minutes, 28 seconds

Yeah. And there are plenty of those out there.

53:32

53 minutes, 32 seconds

But the good news is that there is help available for everyone, right? You don't

53:39

53 minutes, 39 seconds

have to stay in a relationship that is harmful. There really is help available.

53:47

53 minutes, 47 seconds

Well said, Gloria. Thank you. Yeah. And just one one piece for me that I'd love to just share with people is that I like to um just as the idea of change and

53:56

53 minutes, 56 seconds

development is very scary for a lot of people because it's un unknown territory and human beings just don't really like really really enjoy change.

54:05

54 minutes, 5 seconds

But for me like the reason I one of the main reasons I exercise and choose to eat well most of the time is because I don't want to get Alzheimer's when I'm

54:13

54 minutes, 13 seconds

70 80 years old. So I'm doing these things now to benefit myself in the long term and and I think of the same with my kids. You know my eldest kid is six. I

54:22

54 minutes, 22 seconds

am onethird through the journey of him being an adult where it's 18 and I like to think my job is

54:29

54 minutes, 29 seconds

done at that point. Not as a supportive role for sure but like in regards to teaching him to be a man I've got 18 years maybe even less. Right.

54:38

54 minutes, 38 seconds

And that's my I think that when I can put my emotional side, emotional piece to the side a little bit, my pure

54:46

54 minutes, 46 seconds

rational mind is like my job as a my job as a dad is to get him to adult adult

54:52

54 minutes, 52 seconds

years as as a more competent individual as possible.

54:56

54 minutes, 56 seconds

That's right. And it's um it's it's good to come back to that in the present moment because every little thing I say,

55:03

55 minutes, 3 seconds

every little thing that I do, my behaviors, how I hold myself, all of that goes into this this sponge.

55:11

55 minutes, 11 seconds

Mhm.

55:11

55 minutes, 11 seconds

And it's going to and and it's going to develop an amazing person, a good person or whatever in the future. And I've got a big responsibility there. And it's it's

55:20

55 minutes, 20 seconds

something that, you know, you should everyone should take seriously.

55:23

55 minutes, 23 seconds

Absolutely. Parenting is a wonderful experience if you educate yourself

55:31

55 minutes, 31 seconds

on how to do it well. And there's a long-term benefit because that child

55:39

55 minutes, 39 seconds

will then turn around and take care of you. Yeah. Right. When you're 80, 90, 102.

55:49

55 minutes, 49 seconds

That's right. That's right. Well said.

55:52

55 minutes, 52 seconds

Okay, Gloria. Thank you so much for coming on the show. I I've I've learned a lot and I'm sure the listeners will as well and I really appreciate that. But

56:00

56 minutes

before we leave, can you let us know where we can learn more about your work, please?

56:05

56 minutes, 5 seconds

Yes, you could access my website and it's www.d van der ho.com.

56:16

56 minutes, 16 seconds

So it's www.dbanderhorst.com.

56:20

56 minutes, 20 seconds

You'll find all kinds of resources there. You can make an appointment with me, but you can also download the feeling sheet. You'll find explanations

56:29

56 minutes, 29 seconds

of the excellent approaches to working with adults. You'll find resources and books, things that you can tap into.

56:40

56 minutes, 40 seconds

It's a great resource. So, go there and explore.

56:44

56 minutes, 44 seconds

Wonderful. Well, I'll make sure the link to that is available for people. and what I usually do with my guests. If there's any other amazing resources that

56:52

56 minutes, 52 seconds

you would recommend, you can send them to me and I'll put them in the show notes so people can access them as well. Excellent. Thank you.

56:58

56 minutes, 58 seconds

Beautiful. Well, thank you so much for coming on the show again, Gloria. I really appreciate it. You're welcome. Thank you.

57:03

57 minutes, 3 seconds

All right. Uh well, that is it for this episode of True Hope Cast, the official podcast of True Hope Canada. You can connect to the show notes if you want to learn more and connect with um Gloria.

57:13

57 minutes, 13 seconds

Um but other than that, we'll see you soon.