0:00

hello good day greetings wherever you are in the world thank you for joining true Hope cast the official podcast of

0:05

true hope Canada now this podcast through hopecast really takes a deep dive into mental Health's many

0:11

physiological and psychological aspects this is the show for you if you're looking for motivation inspiration

0:17

knowledge and solutions and that is really what we're all about here at true hope Canada true hope Canada is a mind

0:23

and body based supplement company dedicated first and foremost to promoting brain and body Health through

0:29

non-invasive nutritional means and for more information about us you can visit truehopecanada.com

0:34

today on the podcast though I welcome Colleen Ryan Hensley Colleen is a Navy veteran mental health expert and founder

0:41

of hashtag binging sober which is a rewards-based system that enables people to develop steps habits and beliefs that

0:49

impact their Vitality today on the show though we are going to be discussing the rap the rapid growth of substance abuse

0:55

and depression in recent years enjoy the show all right Colleen welcome to true

1:01

hopecast thank you so much for being with me today with us how are you what is going well

1:06

fantastic Simon thank you so much for having me beautiful well just as an intro why don't you just let us know who

1:12

you are and what it is that you do please sure I am Colleen Ryan Hensley I

1:18

am an advocate for mental health and an expert in mental toughness and I am launching the world's first points

1:26

system for vitality it's called hashtag binging sober

1:31

that's interesting that's a point system okay I've got you just got to tell me about that that sounds interesting when

1:38

you say when anyone says worlds first you're like okay my ears are up let's go

1:44

so please tell tell me all about it so it's all about real

1:51

and finding balance in those things that really impact our energy so a lot of

1:59

times you know we're just talking about escapism a little bit a lot of times we habitually use these tools of Escape

2:05

that we're not really thinking about what we're doing and we're aiming to improve our mental state or our state of

2:14

mind and a lot of times it actually drains our energy and makes things a lot

2:19

worse so binging sober is not about sobriety I'm hoping or aiming to

2:27

redefine sobriety in that I really want to focus on a lack of intoxication of

2:33

those escape tools that we're using sorry just just to interrupt you there

2:38

when you say escape tools do you mean those types of behaviors be that

2:44

subconscious or an unconscious behavior that we just kind of like automatically react and just go to to deal with tough

2:52

tough times yes absolutely absolutely so all of those things that need a lot of access to especially after the pandemic

2:58

now we can have anything delivered to our door I just read recently there's like 815

3:05

000 shows streaming on isn't that crazy I mean that blows my mind that's actually that's actually driven me away

3:12

from it because the quality of the shows ifs high standard of like I mean

3:18

nothing's if you just want like to watch something that's just like nonsensical and just like funny and easy to listen

3:24

to you listen to watch like friends doesn't exist anymore and they're never going to do that again so like nothing's

3:29

going to beat that so like I think yeah my wife and I we might like watch one

3:34

show every three months and then like scan it over a few weeks but it's like there's just there's just too much like

3:40

for me it's just like I can't be shifting once you're shifting through all of that yeah you just forgets I

3:46

don't know I think that's I don't know maybe I've just got like an old mind but like I just can't deal with that like I

3:51

completely agree because I want three options I want one of each genre and then I'll watch three three TV channels

3:59

like it wasn't so long ago when I when I grew up there was like five channels only two of them are half decent and all

4:06

the good shows were from like 5 P.M to like maybe 10 p.m on on like a Friday or Saturday night and then there was

4:13

nothing good on the Telly so you didn't bother with it exactly

4:24

like life this passive type of living that

4:29

doesn't doesn't do what we wanted to do it doesn't really help us feel better so

4:38

as I was saying just becoming aware of those things that we use and it's really individual I mean

4:44

it could be different for everyone um and how they impact us or yourself over the over the day of

4:51

the week the month and then controlling those things that you can control around them

4:57

you gain and lose points throughout the day week month and the point is to balance so really be around to that zero

5:04

on what is called the scale of Vitality that's the tool that is is launching

5:09

with uh binging sober in January of this year so how like can you take me through

5:15

like so it's January like that is it an app is it do I do it myself like how

5:21

does it work and how would it work for like an individual like myself and let's just say are we working with one specific a

5:27

particular type of Escape escapism that I might go to like how does it can you take me through like a user experience

5:33

sure sure so we're we're I'm talking right now so I mean gosh it's only what

5:38

nine weeks out again I can't believe the new year is almost here but I really

5:43

want to build a community around the movement and then work as a group and

5:49

there'll be one-on-one options as well but I'm gonna have all of the tools available through my website

5:55

colleenryanhensley.com that are going to be used for this so really the first few weeks is about I mean there's awareness

6:03

exercises throughout because it's an ongoing practice it's not something that's one and done it can change over

6:09

time how these things impact us so first you'll have a chart like a points

6:16

chart and it'll be tailored to you so these types of things that you find yourself using that you're aware of or

6:23

not like you said they could be subconscious like you're not even aware you're doing these things but you are and

6:29

um and then tracking how that makes you feel and there's a really easy fun way to do that so the impact of it not that

6:36

not just that you're doing it but the impact and not just in the moment but the next day so you're really paying

6:41

attention over time how these things in so that you can use your scale of

6:48

Vitality to take yourself up and down that scale

6:54

you know with the zero in the center imagine the zero in the center um and a lot of times what I've found

7:01

this is a practice it's a process that I've developed over the past 20 years or so and I've really been uh really really

7:09

making it um shareable over the past few years

7:14

that you'll find that maybe this idea of

7:19

what you think is your best or your happiest or what you're aiming for isn't accurate and I'll give you an example

7:25

because I've struggled with depression alcohol abuse post-traumatic stress and that's where all of this has come in to

7:33

my life is this this practice and really if I'm at like imagine a little scale

7:38

with zero in the center and positive 10 being like the absolute best what you could or what let's say what maybe

7:44

society says you should be feeling happy and smiling and energetic and bouncing

7:50

off walls I don't know and then the negative 10 is just the deep dark Blues

7:57

depression well I find that I feel great around a one you know a one on that

8:02

scale is where I really want to be but a lot of times we don't understand that about ourselves so this this expectation

8:09

of how we should be feeling according to maybe somebody else who's created that expectation for US versus how we're

8:15

actually feeling it can be really impactful to recognize that for sure

8:22

is it like a scare is it like these things that you could put on there like are they like limited do they is it like

8:27

could I put like alcohol use and drug use on on this or is it just like about like my TV addiction and my junk food

8:34

addiction all of it all of it and there are some things like Simon even working out I worked out to a fault I've I've

8:40

run too much you know those types of things when we're just using them to escape this whatever that pain may be

8:47

you know just to avoid something yeah then it can be any number of things that to

8:54

if you're just thinking about say working out for example like that can be

8:59

impactful it could drain your energy on that scale of Vitality you're just not aware that

9:05

you're doing it or overdoing it I should say and is there like um like a pre-test before I would engage

9:12

with this application because it's like when do I know that I've got like a problem I think I think for a lot of

9:19

people when we're talking about like let's just say more serious addictions um get really deep into it and they're

9:25

like right at the far end before they before somebody else even realizes that

9:31

they might be going through something like really seriously alcohol drugs pornography things like that you know like before we start thinking it might

9:37

be a problem we're like really far down the path so like is there like a decent way of um like pre-testing whether like

9:45

this like that I do have a problem right that Simon is a great question

9:52

um so there will be an assessment but I am I am creating resources and a support

9:59

system that will include professional Mental Health and other professionals you know around

10:07

a holistic well-being so that those types of things can be addressed I am in

10:13

mental toughness my background is in performance psychology and so my idea going into this is that we all have the

10:20

same potential to improve our lives in a way that that that Embraces a natural

10:28

zest and energy for life that a lot of us are escaping using those tools and don't even realize we're doing it

10:35

um so yes there'll be an assessment but and those types of things will be addressed and and members of the

10:41

community will be supported if those types of things should arise and is the user experience of this tool

10:48

um I just thinking about like the type of individual who might be anxious or depressed or going through something the

10:56

natural tendency is to like isolate and like be alone and not connect

11:01

um but you did mention the fact that there are like you know connective aspects to like the community side of

11:07

this application so is it very much like once you go on the app and you start using it like is it more geared towards

11:14

actually connecting with other people who are going through the same type of thing or is it like you know or is it

11:19

not well there is no app in community like a community forum and that'll be introduced in January and

11:27

there's also the option you don't have to connect with the community at all all of the tools will be available on

11:32

through the website as downloads so there's no need to uh to be socially

11:39

involved if that's beyond an individual's Comfort level and is it is it like is it a paid thing

11:45

do you have to pay for it okay that's really cool I mean I mean I think there's a I think there's a lot of um good like

11:53

self um motivation to actually paying for something and investing into it but obviously having a free

11:59

um a free tool such as this is also incredibly powerful as well so that's that's great

12:05

thank you thank you what's what's performance Psychology by the way

12:11

it's really mental skills that are designed to

12:16

work your best in whatever performance Arena you work in or perform in say

12:23

sports Athletics um Performing Arts those types of things so it's really skills based geared

12:30

toward that how to meant how to manage stress levels that are in competition how to uh focus and find Clarity in in

12:39

what you're doing those types of things however I have always been driven to

12:45

focus on real world application of those skills

12:51

so that's what I'm hoping to do with hashtag binging sober that's really cool I mean I've spoken to actually quite a

12:56

lot of people in regards to substance abuse and like uh porn addictions uh and

13:02

and alcohol addictions and Drug addictions quite recently actually on the podcast and I always ask the question like what does what's the

13:09

conventional model like doing wrong I mean it's such a deep deep question you know whether you know from top to the

13:16

top of governments to health health institutes to the general public and all of that it's a very very deep question

13:22

like you know why we have why do we continue to have like such addiction problems and substance problems and over

13:29

the last couple of years obviously that's just been absolutely like blown out of the water so like in regards to

13:34

like our conventional ways of dealing with substances and addictions clearly it's not like really working especially

13:41

in like a mass scale right like I don't think any government program that tries to facilitate a large amount of people

13:47

is ever really going to work because everyone's just like so individual I think about like food pyramids and the

13:52

food plates and nutrition guidelines that they try and put out for you know America 330 million people like it's

13:58

just just not how it's going to whatever work like it's nonsense so what do you think that uh the conventional system is

14:05

doing wrong when it comes to substance a substance abuse and addiction and like is this like was you this idea the born

14:13

out of that that lack that's a great question and I don't I

14:18

really want to focus on the I mean you're you know we're talking

14:24

here about convention and one of my missions my goal is to get people to

14:30

advocate for themselves and really own their own wellness and I know that

14:36

that's I've heard you say those things too like it's really important that we're not just falling into

14:42

group think you know what everybody else is doing that's what I'm gonna do and that may not impact me in the same way

14:49

so this was really born out of just my realizing just having a you know a

14:56

moment that I was using these things to escape not even to escape reality to

15:04

avoid a trauma that I'd buried and I wasn't even aware that I buried it and

15:10

that I was just you know really struggling to to find my way in the

15:19

world using the absolute wrong means and it was just I think I heard you say that

15:25

you were yeah that you played football in the UK and drinking was a huge part of the culture well I was in the Navy

15:31

for 11 years and that was very much a part of the culture there too when you're in that group Think Tank

15:38

you don't really realize the impact that it's having on you so I think the same

15:44

can be said about convention like either that either that that Barrel let's say the

15:51

barrel of convention is going to control you if you're a passive

15:57

writer on the on the train of convention or you say wait a minute this is really

16:03

in my control and these are the things that I can do regardless of what the guidelines and the rules and and what

16:09

have you say yeah I think I think humans are fantastic at like innovating and we can

16:15

just kind of see in regards to to slight technology like if like we we have like the latest iPhone and we it's

16:22

no different from like let's say an iPhone 13 and iPhone 14 like there's no real difference between the two of them

16:28

might be like a little bit but like we just like constantly have to have a new thing and that actually drives

16:33

Innovation to create different things right and the way that you've created this really cool system which I'm very

16:38

looking forward to see how it unfolds and how it develops and it's gonna it's gonna grow organically and it's probably going to shift and change into all these

16:44

wonderful things organically with the community and I think it's just I think we need those types of innovative tools

16:51

to capture people before they really get to that point within their addiction where it's like you know it's it's

16:58

breaking up families and it's people losing their jobs and their health is in such a manner that they are having to

17:04

engage in like harsh drugs or surgeries or you know long programs which you know

17:10

like obviously have their place but if we can if we can support people on that Journey then it's just going to reduce

17:17

their the amount of people that get to that like level where it's just like you know taking down their lives and it's

17:22

ending up being quite expensive to just like oh my gosh to the hot to the healthcare system which is like a big

17:27

big problem right absolutely um just over the last like couple like two three years like

17:34

how is the idea so first of all like when did you have this like idea to like

17:39

create this program and was the last of the last few years with the with covid like uh like did that Inspire it did

17:48

that like in Inspire your need to get this going like right away because you

17:54

know I don't know about I don't know about you but like it's interesting that so many so many more people are just turning towards substances and

18:01

addictions to whether that's like yeah Netflix or TV or just distract distraction right yeah

18:07

excess yeah yes this pandemic one of the things that

18:13

I'm sure it's done for a lot of people and it did for me that I really questioned

18:19

what I was doing with my voice I

18:24

I had a very strong mission in the military and that's something that I've been missing in my life and during the

18:32

pandemic being you know yeah isolated like a lot of us were uh I

18:40

really wanted to re-engage with you know the world after

18:45

it in a way that that was purposeful and made sense in my life I have I have

18:51

three young adults that have recently left the house so that obviously stayed apart in all of this but

18:58

um it was really inspiring benching server was really inspired from my time in the military

19:04

so I was um just a trigger warning I know that it's hard to talk about it's hard

19:11

to hear um but I for anyone who's out there who

19:18

has been exposed to uh trauma involving sexual assault that is what happened to

19:24

me in my early years in the military my mental toughness that we all see is this

19:29

really good thing and I'll get back to that later because I think it's really important to redefine some of these terms that we use in a way that make

19:36

them more useful and effective um but I was so I really really adopted

19:42

the stoicism and the mental toughness and the grit of the military environment and when when this assault happened I

19:50

was blacked out drunk I had way too much to drink and trusted these people that I

19:55

was around but it happened the next day when I woke up in the same house I uh

20:02

took full responsibility you know I had a moment where I was no longer a child nobody was coming to save me in that

20:09

moment I had to decide what to do in my natural inclination was to take full responsibility and I faced the people

20:17

involved the next day that I saw them and threatened them and said you're

20:22

gonna forget about this just like I am and that's exactly what I did and that was was that was 20 years ago so I just

20:29

went on along with my life and that trauma that pain was coming out in other

20:34

ways using a lot of these escape tools that we're talking about to avoid that

20:40

pain to avoid any of the feelings around it I was not a nice person I was

20:47

um I was pretty harsh and cold and unfeeling and I was a robot and I was a

20:53

great sailor but I was just avoiding avoiding avoiding that trauma using these escape tools when I was mostly at

21:01

home because I was on a ship I had experiences for days weeks sometimes months out at Sea where I

21:08

didn't have access to a lot of those things and started noticing the very

21:13

drastic change in my state of mind in my well-being and you know I was 20

21:19

5 24 so at that point in my life I was not

21:25

as self-aware as I am now and so I didn't really notice that I wasn't really like taking it

21:32

into account that that's what was happening I would go back home I would go back to my my escape tools and I

21:38

would just forget all about how great I felt until I got out of the Navy and

21:43

just kind of naturally and this is a big part of what I want to share with binging sober is that once you start

21:51

doing this taking longer periods of sobriety I'm not talking about complete abstinence unless like you like we've

21:57

already talked about there's a legitimate Health concern that needs to be addressed apart from this which I'm a

22:03

huge advocate for that support but I'm talking about taking just a few

22:09

days a week just like I was doing on the ship naturally a month and noticing because that's

22:15

where this awareness control and balance piece comes from noticing how you feel how that impacts your life I mean it can

22:21

be three days anyone can try it for three days and so

22:26

eventually I just naturally started to Crave

22:31

the so the the abstinence from those things because it felt so good I noticed

22:37

that I was naturally starting to Crave that and so during the pandemic at the beginning of the pandemic I noticed that

22:44

I was turning to alcohol I was in and watching TV I was you know binge eating

22:49

crazy foods that I wouldn't normally eat all of those things to avoid avoid avoid feelings and

22:56

after the pandemic I realized that this I need to share this like this has become my mission since the military is

23:03

to share this and to get people to understand that that balance that place

23:09

where um where we feel good and it's consistent so long as we have the recipe to get

23:16

there not huge I think that's so so such

23:21

valuable information insight and I really appreciate you sharing sharing that because obviously so much of the

23:26

positive things that happen in the world these initiatives come from people recognizing things that happen in their

23:33

lives that they that they may have like got wrong or they yeah like they're just different personalities that we had when

23:39

we were 20 of them we were 30 or 40 right and it's so interesting to retrospectively look back at those

23:45

things and just going back to the like the isolation that comes with let's say depression or anxiety or other

23:52

psychological conditions or you know a lot like an actual physical lockdown where you are like cut off from

23:58

Community Society or family other human beings and they're very much interconnected because

24:03

at the end of the day like we don't want to deal with like the feelings that come

24:09

up in now or you know for me like a no feeling is like the end product of uh of an experience you know those emotions

24:16

that come up for us you know it's biochemical it's it's ingrained in all of us you know and if it's coming up for us internally when

24:23

we're in an isolated state of depression or anxiety or physical like you're put away from other people

24:28

we are going to immediately go to something like TV or alcohol or food or

24:35

other substances whatever it might be in order to deal with those feelings because in my

24:40

opinion the only probably yeah I think the only way that we can really start to digest and go

24:46

through those feelings that come up for us is to com is to communicate it with other human beings that can be uh

24:52

vulnerable with us that can be open with us that can hold us in our heart that can actually be with us and understand

24:57

us and even if it's just like listening or it's just a hug or it's just crying and getting it out like you can't get

25:03

that from just just just being on your own it's impossible because it's it's literally frequency and energy inside of

25:10

us creating matter creating a internal personality of like maybe turmoil and

25:17

anger and rage and jealousy and all these like negative things and you can't get through that type of an experience

25:23

and get through those behaviors that um aren't serving you and can lead to Serious addictions you can't do that

25:29

without community and you can't do that about friends other human beings around you and I've been doing this podcast for

25:35

a couple of years now speaking to some amazing practitioners you share so much wealth and knowledge and the

25:41

biggest theme that's come up is is community like and trying to do things on your own there's a I had this chat

25:48

yesterday with the guy who was also in the military for like 10 years and you

25:53

cut you can't successfully there's a very small percentage of like people who can just

25:59

like do things on their own and be really successful with it it's certainly possible but it's super super rare it

26:05

takes a quite very unique individual quite robotic individual to be able to do that to get out of Dark Places just

26:11

like purely on your own but like for most people like like for me like you've

26:17

got to have human beings around you you've got to have like love come into your heart you've got to have joy and happiness and gratitude coming into you

26:24

as well as expressing it out right and extending that frequency out to other people and it's um it's just awesome

26:31

that you're able to create you know this type of this this program and and incentive to support those people

26:38

especially before they get to like a real place of Darkness yeah relate so much to

26:48

Terry post trauma I really just closed myself off to everyone thinking that

26:55

that was the way it had to be like I was so strong and I can handle this all on my own and

27:02

I never even it wasn't until I started healing from that which took me saying

27:08

the words as if to another human being for that weight to just lift off of me I

27:14

mean I can talking about it every time I say it I feel it again it's just like this just lifting or sharing sharing of

27:22

that you know and it and it just really lessens the burden of it and that just

27:28

saying it I mean I that was kind of the trigger of my healing journey and it sounds

27:35

so simple and of course it's not but to the people that are listening you know

27:41

to be inspired hopefully to to want to

27:47

feel that lift as well um I think it's really important I know

27:52

it's one thing to say it and then a whole nother thing to look at yourself and say I need to heal this but gosh

27:58

it's so like rewarding and life changing and and definitely it like impacts every

28:03

single cell and every single experience and

28:09

just everything yeah I just looking at the world at the moment in regards to the anxieties and

28:15

depressions and substance substance abuses and addictions I think that we

28:20

seriously struggle to get out of those types of things ourselves and I mean like trying to deal

28:26

with it purely on your own but like recognizing that something's going on and then reaching out and asking for support and asking for help I think that

28:32

comes from a serious like lack of teaching kids about responsibility and teaching young young adults about

28:37

responsibility because you know you can be responsible uh for a bunch of things at a job for sure and actually like tick

28:43

boxes but like being responsible for yourself and taking care of yourself and checking in and making sure that you

28:49

know you you are in a in like a healthy State and you're taking care of your mind you're taking care of your body and you know when things do get a bit too

28:56

much which is inevitable for everybody at some point taking responsible steps to support yourself and ask for help but

29:02

because in my opinion we just don't teach or don't give kids at a young age

29:08

a responsibility we might like we might ask a kid our child at 15 or 16 or 17 to

29:13

get like a part-time job or something but I think kids from like five years of age and maybe even younger are capable

29:20

of taking responsibility around the house and recognizing how important that is and how empowering that is is and how

29:25

much of a role you actually have to play in society within the family is your own individual and if we don't actually have

29:32

the the skill set to take responsibility how are we going to do it when you know we have got all these distractions

29:39

coming in and they're coming in from all over the place and it leads us into behaviors that just really don't serve us like we're just not going to be able

29:46

to like break through that horrible subconscious habitual pattern that just keeps us like grabbing onto these things

29:52

that are just like blocking us from what's actually really going on for us it's really tricky

29:57

tricky and anything that's just one of the things

30:04

we really need to talk about is this downward spiral I always hear they're caught in a downward spiral it's

30:11

like such a it's a it's a saying that we love to use around mental health and that's what it is is this I want to feel

30:18

better so I'm going to drink this glass of wine and then it's gonna interrupt my

30:23

sleep and then tomorrow I'm gonna have a headache and I'm gonna be unproductive and my anxiety is gonna be crazy through

30:29

the roof and that's going to cause me to want to escape again and so I repeat the pattern and repeat the pattern and you

30:35

get further and further down that scale right like down the spiral what we don't have is this language around the upward

30:42

spiral around healing around what those things are that we can do to reverse the

30:49

impact of what we've habitually done to then reprogram ourselves to want to do

30:55

those things instead or to find balance in them because I don't want to be told

31:00

that I can't do something now I do understand that there are people and times when we need that support and

31:06

as we've already talked about like actual professional support with those types of challenges but if you tell me

31:13

Simon that I can't have popcorn I'm going to think about the popcorn all the time and that's not going to help me so what I'm talking about is like being

31:20

consistent with moderation is such an important thing that it's like we don't understand as a society like just be

31:27

consistent with moderation like not don't you know access access Escape escape and just

31:34

drilling yourself down that downward spiral yeah I think I think becoming being

31:40

conscious and aware is obviously a big part of that I just I just I was just thinking as you're talking there about

31:46

me when I was 20 against me you know I'm 38 now like how different my like

31:52

ups and downs would be like this like even just through a day like you're not gonna just be like up up up up up

31:57

there's gonna be like blips here and there but when those like blips happen of like maybe feeling a bit like anxious

32:03

or stressed out or tired or worried or whatever that might be I feel like when you're in more of a conscious State and

32:09

you're aware of your thoughts your feelings and your behaviors your ability to respond to that dip

32:16

is is just so much more profound because you're not you're able to like catch yourself before you start dipping

32:22

weights reacting to it you're responding you're being active participant in your

32:28

life exactly and then if somebody who is like let's just say 90 of what they're thinking feeling and doing is a little

32:35

bit more unconscious let's just say they're like I don't know 20 21 years of age and you know they've not really had

32:41

any big responsibilities yet in their life and they're just like kind of just like go going through the motions of

32:46

life when something is you know causing them to feel anxious or depressed I just feel

32:53

like that that ability to become aware of of where you're going it's just it literally becomes diminished because

32:59

that person is living in such an unconscious manner that they're not really aware of like where their

33:05

psychological state is or where their physical state is and before

33:10

and by the time they realize it they've got like a disease or they've got like like issues or they've got like they've

33:16

started recognizing that something's really real it's it's kind of like it's not it's just kind of like too late like a lot of damage has been done and it's

33:22

it's like a really tough ladder to climb at that point because it's just it's just gone unchecked for so long

33:30

hope and we need around that and

33:35

that and I heard you say that that I believe it was your mom that had the surgery and the doctor told her to

33:43

have ice cream or something like crazy and that's just it's kind of the same point that how long ago is that you know

33:50

years ago where we just didn't have the knowledge or the language around nutrition and its

33:58

importance because we didn't understand the science behind it yet or to the extent we do now it's the same thing

34:06

with with mental health with this downward spiral versus the upward spiral we need to create language around it and

34:12

that's what I want to do with this community that's really cool I think that that upward spiral certainly needs to be

34:17

highlighted a lot more I often talk about in my nutrition practice about you know somebody who starts to work with me

34:24

there's no with any Therapeutic Alliance between a you know like a client and a practitioner it's never going to be this

34:30

like continuous upward spiral of success to Joy and happy Rainbow Land right before it's always there's always going

34:37

to be blips along the way and it's just inevitable once you can recognize that you can realize the value in those like

34:43

slips yeah and you can get back in the saddle but a lot of people because we probably don't have the language and the communication around that upward spiral

34:50

consider that like tiny blip to be just complete failure and they can't do it yeah yeah yeah yeah

34:57

that's where that downward spiral starts it's a very fast and slippery slope if you're not paying attention to it

35:04

you were talking about uh redefinition earlier there's some key things that you

35:09

that you wish to be redefined mental toughness for one

35:14

what does that mean yeah like the 90s so mental toughness to me to me how I've

35:20

redefined it is learning the skills because a lot of them are not natural

35:25

they we may pick them up in our environment growing up depending on what our family is like what our parents are

35:30

like those sorts of things but a lot of them aren't natural you have to learn these skills that help you to thrive

35:37

meaning cope really well through challenge so whereas like the 90s edition of

35:44

mental toughness is like this grit you know this rub some dirt on it and get back in the game and I do have I have a

35:50

lot of that in me but um I think it's important it's exactly what you just said those blips like

35:57

those those dips in your day those dips in your week those dips in your month in your life that's the balance you can't

36:04

have the super super Joy the rainbows and butterflies if you don't have the

36:09

darkness too that's just the way it works and as somebody who was ignoring all of my emotions and not feeling a

36:15

thing for over a decade it was numb and horrible and the moment that I started

36:23

to feel I was able to make those connections with people that are so important that you're talking about and

36:30

able to see that oh my gosh I I feel I feel amazing and I just had this crap

36:37

day yesterday and that's the point isn't it like both of them have to be true like both of them are included and so

36:43

the mental toughness definition I really want to talk about is like is it's not just about being grit and

36:50

strong and like you know Fierce it's it includes our Mental Health

36:57

it includes our mental health mental health and taking care of your mental health is mental toughness you're really

37:02

focused on learning how your mind works and how to

37:10

thrive during your personal challenges which may look different than someone else's there's not one recipe it's such

37:18

an individual thing and that's why it's so important to own the responsibility of that as individuals

37:26

yeah the mental toughness for me uh more like old school definition is like just

37:32

being like kind of void of emotions that yeah and that's obviously not a

37:38

not a healthy way to deal with anything I don't think but like when you were talking about like

37:43

um how it would be very very beneficial and let's just say a military a military position because you know you kind of

37:50

like don't have the time to like in a battle situation to sit down and cry and be emotional you know that's not really

37:55

quite ideal so they kind of drill that in but that filters throughout Society right especially within men you know

38:01

like you you that meant you've got to be mentally tough and you you know don't let your don't let your emotions like

38:06

get the better of you like I think it's circumstantial in regards to I think if you are cognitively aware of

38:14

your mental and physical capabilities like you could be running like a Triathlon or an Ultraman or something

38:21

whatever an Iron Man and you feel like you want to quit you know that's your

38:27

body just just trying to tell you that you're done you know but then you can have like the mental capacity to be

38:32

aware that you know like you you know I've got I've got more in me and I'm aware of that you know that's having a

38:37

conversation with your mind and your body rather than this ridiculous idea that all the all of the time I should

38:44

just be ignoring ignoring my emotions because like showing weakness and being you know and being mentally weak is just

38:50

like a sign of like not being a good human being it doesn't really make any sense and we we I don't know I don't

38:57

know why but we also don't like to really look at words and Define them

39:02

because mental toughness probably will definitely would have meant something different to me when I was 20 to what I

39:08

feel like now like it's you know I was probably stronger and more physically able when I

39:13

was 20 so I probably thought like I was mentally tough I could do these things but now I'm like 40 and I have two young

39:19

kids I have a wife you know like which engages like your emotions like you

39:24

would never believe and trains your patience and it trains your love it trains you it trains your

39:30

responsibilities so I believe now like my mental uh capacity my mental strength whatever that might be is so like

39:37

well-rounded but it's that that's built out of um I think that's built out of

39:43

being capable and responsible and not necessarily about like just like avoiding my emotions and just like that

39:49

going forward through things and yeah it's it's it's interesting and I think yeah the language piece is super important because yeah we we'll we'll

39:55

take the that will take the idea of like mental toughness or mental weakness and we will

40:00

not really analyze it and go through like what that actually means and we just go along with it exactly

40:13

around all of these things that not all of us do but mental toughness in this more

40:19

well-rounded way where it's really based on the individual and the challenges that you have and the challenges that

40:27

hopefully you can look at and become aware of and discover the things that you can control around them and focus on

40:34

that like that's that's the important thing you don't have to be an extreme athlete to to use these skills to

40:41

improve your life yeah it's certainly I think generational in regards to

40:46

um like that type of military mental toughness it's kind of like leaked into society like like my parents and

40:53

especially my grandparents uh no they were in World War II right so it was like they were in

41:00

a significant part of their life they were in this like fight or flight literal War situation where it was like

41:05

that mental toughness meant like if you were to like let your emotions

41:11

get a better of you it could it would be the difference between life and death you know and that was a significant part of their

41:17

experience of life which is traumatic which instills which creates like trauma

41:22

inside the body that has to kind of like go out anywhere and then that like unfortunately gets like parented on and

41:27

then parented on again and I'm not saying that we're out of like War times because this crazy stuff going on the

41:34

world at the moment but I like to think that we are um me as a parent for example like I'm

41:39

really trying to be aware that I'm not parenting like I was parented because I know my parents were parented by a

41:45

generation that was all about like that oh my gosh 100 relate to you yeah yeah so I'm trying to

41:51

like be super patient with my three-year-old who is just this like Fireball of emotion and I can't expect

41:56

him to have the experience and grasp of being angry like

42:05

I do or like I would expect like another adult to be you know so I have to have some patience with that but like I don't

42:10

know like three generations back it would just be like smack in the back of their head or wooden spoon and

42:16

that clearly is not the way to do things there's too much research now and like if I think if you were to just like analyze that type of parenting to learn

42:23

today that you'd be like yeah probably not probably not good uh so yeah it's just it's just

42:28

interesting how like where I feel like with this like gentle parenting idea and like like men allowing to be themselves

42:34

to be open and and um vulnerable with other people when they're and their own

42:40

selves there's certainly like more conversation in regards to that that um that piece here yeah yeah

42:48

it's like be mentally tough what is that like I don't even know something yeah well we talk about redefining

42:55

sobriety because that is a big one as well we just we if I were if I were to

43:01

ask you you know if you want to take 10 days off from all of your things that you

43:06

think you love that might not entice you like Simon I want you to be sober for 10 days we have

43:13

this like it's again one of those things we haven't examined like ooh I don't know that doesn't sound fun at all well

43:19

sobriety is just an it's our natural state of mind and I think that a lot of us don't know that it's Blissful and

43:28

like pure joy if you feel actually clean and clear and I'm sure you know this in all

43:34

of your you know what you've done in your professional life like actually having a clear mind is very interesting

43:40

and something that we used as escape tools to get out of so if you haven't taken a few days off from those things

43:46

then you don't know what it feels like so again the definition is really individual and has to be experienced I

43:54

think to really understand what it means but this idea that it's a

44:00

joyful place to go I hope to inspire people to try it so that you know

44:08

eventually we can be you know going out to happy hour with a friend and ordering uh you know a soda with lime and and

44:15

someone says oh why aren't you drinking you can say oh I'm binging sober thank you and it'd be like a good thing yeah

44:23

that makes a lot of sense I want to do that too it's not like a sustained horrible you know horrible thing and

44:29

there's a huge sober curious movement which I'm really really excited about mostly surrounding alcohol so I think

44:35

that we tend to forget there are all of these other things that are just right at our fingertips that we use and abuse

44:41

that do do the same thing in a different way to our bodies and our minds and our

44:46

lives yeah I mean we're so unbelievably spoiled in regards to what we can access

44:53

all of the time food alcohol um entertainment and

44:59

I I find a lot of joy in regards to being able to step back from those

45:04

things in certain times like basically I only like will impart in alcohol during like the summer doing my like soccer

45:11

season because it's like we have our soccer game and we have the cooler afterwards and there's like 20 guys around there like in the families and

45:17

we're drinking beer it's awesome it's a wonderful environment but like in the winter I've got no real um taste to drink alcohol I'm not going

45:24

to buy alcohol and bring it home and drink at home and like with my you know don't just I know that's just not particularly healthy and it's not

45:30

something that I personally want to do but I also find like a lot of um self-motivation and like not drinking

45:36

for like five months or six months or whatever that might be and like replacing that with like exercise so I

45:41

know I've got to experience it in the um in that not being in that that kind of

45:47

like spoiled nature because we're not supposed to others we're not supposed to be like um like well fed and warm at the same time

45:55

it's a very it's a very unusual position for humans to be in considering the the

46:01

tiny blip of human existence that we've experienced with this like amazing world that we live in right now like the the

46:08

99.99 of human existence has been like kind of like a bat it's been bad like we

46:14

die young it would be a struggle we've had good times we've had bad times but at the end of the day we would very

46:19

rarely be warm and fed at the same time and I feel like it's a quite natural

46:25

environment a natural state for us to have a lot of lack and there's also a lot of like you know I'm

46:31

a practicing stoic when I've got the when I've got the time but like recognizing that um taking things away

46:39

will make you really really appreciate them in the long term maybe not with like alcohol and things like that but

46:45

like there are like really interesting start practices where like spend two nights in a row of the week sleeping on

46:50

the floor or like you know eat one meal a day you know like just to like really end up

46:57

like appreciating the these things that you do have and it ends up wrapping a lot of happiness joy and gratitude to

47:03

those everyday things that we're just unconsciously just assume that we should have and it just changes your

47:08

relationship with so many different things that we really like to take for granted just reset reset I think we're

47:14

supposed to be in that that that uh in that phase more often more often than not you know like we're coming into the

47:20

winter months now like you know like the I know you're in Texas so I don't know about that I know you've got storms and stuff but I think it's probably pretty

47:26

warm there most of the time it is okay cool I've only lived here I've only

47:31

lived in Houston this area for a few months now so it's to be determined it stays pretty warm yeah okay but where I

47:38

live we have like Seasons we have like harsh Seasons so like the like last week the weather has just like dropped by 10

47:44

degrees and it's quite clearly a message from like the um does the seasons changing that like I need to start

47:50

thinking about what I'm doing with my body and what I'm doing with my energy because like it's a hibernation time there's no doubt about it just because

47:56

we've got electricity and food and all the same stuff all year round it doesn't necessarily mean that I should be doing

48:02

the same sort of output during those like darker colder times like now I need to be aware of like the environment

48:08

changing around me that's how I've evolved as a human being and it's important to take notice of those things

48:14

and to and to be careful yeah because like in the winter your digestion is

48:19

going to be significantly slower your ability to break down alcohol is is going to be weaker so it's important

48:24

that we we recognize these things but again it comes down to responsibility and um being being more conscious about

48:31

what is going on future belongs to those who can

48:38

sell nice yeah yeah I like that it's true that's really really cool right there we've got to know

48:44

how beautiful advantage how Colleen how can people connect with you I've got a

48:50

couple of websites I'm going to stick into show notes but like what's the best place to to go to to learn more more about what you're doing

48:56

Colleen Ryan hensley.com there were some tech issues today

49:01

but it should be good to go um and armoredrace.com but really

49:07

hashtag binging sober uh look out for the hashtag and on Instagram follow me

49:13

on Instagram at Colleen Ryan Hensley and if you would like to sign up for updates

49:19

on the official launch in January of 2023 definitely please go to colleenryanhensley.com

49:26

beautiful well I'll make sure that all that information is in our show notes and we'll get you linked up in social media as well but I really thank you for

49:34

taking the time with me today I really really enjoyed our conversation me too Simon thank you

49:39

thank you of course thank you well that is it for this episode of True Hope cast the official podcast for True hope Canada I'll make sure all the

49:45

information you need to get connected with Colleen is in the show notes so you can do that leave us a review on iTunes

49:51

if you haven't yet uh but that's it we'll see you next week

49:56

thank you [Music]